The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism in our lives have not learned healthy coping skills. The writer describes having grown up with the job of keeping silent about everything that was happening in the home. Over time anger built up and in order to relieve it, turned to food. Much like the patterns witnessed with the alcoholics in the writers life, he/she escaped anxiety and anything uncomfortable through food. Through working the steps and confidence in a sponsor, the writer was able to develop healthier coping habits.
This reading was meant for me! I have struggled with food and eating issues for as long as I can remember. As the writer learned to do, I also have used food as an emotional comfort. I have been at extremes- either over eating or unconsciously eating to depriving myself in order to feel in control. Learning to cope with feelings rather than bury them in some way has been a way for me to turn these habits around, and for me it has often just started with acknowledging whatever uncomfortable feelings are there in the first place. Being aware that I have these patterns has helped me work toward a healthier life, but as with all of it, I am a work in progress.
Goood Morning Mary What an important topic around the Holiday!!!. Learning how to handle feelings is the single most important principle I developed from uisng my alanon program Not ignoring and stuffing them as you noted but accepting the owning them and then using an alanon tool of detachment, prayer or a meeting to move through them helped tremendously. My go to tool on feelings was denial and pretend today it is acceptance and prayer .
Thanks for your service Enjoy the day
Good morning, Mary! Thank you so much for your service today!
I too learned to "stuff" my feelings. But I always liked to stay active, so my weight issues fluctuated through the years. It seemed I was always fighting myself... never in balance for sure! I have always been surprised that I didn't develop anorexia, as that is such a control thing... I guess I liked food way too much!!! LOL!
I can really identify with what Betty shared... my go-to feelings was denial and pretending all was "OK." In fact, that was my "favorite" response to other's queries... "Everything's fine." When I catch myself doing it now, it makes me cringe.
Now I am learning to accept my feelings and work through them... not deny that they are there. I big step for me I think. This, topped with a "Ketovore" way of eating has stopped my binge eating to manage emotional times. I also accept that I am a work in progress! Which as I have shared before, is a HUGE thing for me the "perfectionist."
Today, if the Seahawks win, they will clinch a Wild Card spot in the playoffs! So today is reserved for football, and I am going to be making some Mandala art coasters for my friend for Christmas... I hope the muse is with me! LOL! I haven't "created" in over a year, and I can feel the urge just waiting like a coiled cat!
Peace and Love to you all!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Mary, I am guilty too. Food was my comfort. I would stuff myself with food to fill the hole of being abandoned and or abused, never any hugs, never any kind words, so I would comfort myself with food
I still have trigger foods to this day that I have to not keep in the house because I can open up the package and eat and not stop. Its not as bad as it used to be. I am a work in progress. To help me stay eating clean etc. to help my anxiety and all, I just keep trigger foods Out of the house and they are for removing the temptation
Happy Sunday all - Thanks for the daily and service Mary and thanks to all for the shares/ESH. I know today that if/when I try to use old means of dealing, it just builds up and doesn't work out well. I am in a much saner place if I can just feel the feelings and practice acceptance.
I am grateful for the tools that we learn about in recovery as they help me heal and deal in healthier ways. It's been a busy day here for me - working to get back to my routine and helping a friend who's been in a rehab center after a fall - she gets to go home tomorrow!
My mom arrives Tuesday for her annual holiday visit - my dad is staying home and taking a break. Busy, busy, busy + self-care = a new interim normal. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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