The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for May 8 speaks about the 'freedom" that we receive by practicing the Al-Anon program. It points out that when we first enter the program we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair--. However, when we start working the program, we soon discover that we have been released from much of our despair. When we learn to understand the true nature of our situation, we begin to see that Al-Anon requires that we give up some of our old "go to" tools. Recovery can only be achieved by paying the price of acceptance.
This acceptance must be achieved by hard work. We must work the first step,and then we soon discover that being powerless over others we are "set free" to stop attempting to control another-- we then find that we are" free" to surrender to God;s, guidance and then we must give up our self will so precious, It's up to us to decide that the freedom from despair is worth it
. The reading goes on to say success with the Al-Anon program requires an in depth change in our attitudes , By using the tools we can change from hostility to forgiveness from violence to acceptance
The quote states; freedom has many facets, but mostly it releases us from much that has been troubling and defeating us. We pray for this release into freedom.
Freedom a great goal!!! I have found that this freedom has developed as I worked the steps and found acceptance of life on life's terms My attitudes have changed and i am so happy
ACCEPTANCE was a big hurdle for me as I wanted it MY way and to me, acceptance meant bellying up, taking it lying down on my back, being the victim, but I see now acceptance is NOT necessarily agreeing with or liking or even supporting the person , place or thing that has happened that I do not want....for me?? Acceptance is just seeing it for WHAT IT IS and can I do something??? or not??? I know I can take care of me in whatever manner suits the situation.....I know I am powerless over other people, places and things....if what they do or say is against my beliefs, I can set a boundary or distance myself if I am not so much of a match....same as with places and things...I can walk away...temporarily seek shelter...but I DON"T have to take abuse and I don't have to just lie there and be the victim..I can get up...do what I can...put the energy out there and let the chips fall where they may...............sure missed your super posts....This one was a home run...
Good morning, MIP!
Betty, thank you for your service, and what a lovely reminder about the gifts of the program today!
I love the freedom that comes with acceptance. I used to think that acceptance meant that I had to live with the situation as it was, "putting up" with the unacceptable. Now, I have learned that acceptance means letting go of my need to control a situation or outcome, letting the situation be what it is, and then deciding whether I want to stick around or not. When I accept what is, I am more free, because I can then decide what I want to do and how I want to respond. Just because something is the way it is, doesn't mean I'm stuck with dealing with it
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Hi Skorpi and Rose Thanks for your thoughts I can so identify. I too thought that acceptance meant that I simply tolerated a bad situation and said nothing. Today I understand that acceptance allows me to stop fighting to make someone else different but to look for a workable solution that I can use that will allow me to face life with courage, serenity and wisdom. Thanks you alanon
Thanks for the service and all ESH. I directly relate to having felt like a prisoner who has been set free. Without acceptance I would stay in prison. I had been stuck in a never ending cycle of wishing/wanting things I could never make happen. What a horrible place to be. My life is so much better with program. So grateful, Lyne
Thanks for your service, Betty, and all the ESH. Wonderful topic. Its almost a year since I've left my ex-abf and I seem to be at the place where I've finally accepted I can't make him leave me alone, so I must be the one to ensure my emotional safety. I may have finally gotten it. I really hope I have and that I will continue to take care of me and not get sucked into craziness again. Trying to stay in the now. That helps a lot.
Thank you Betty for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your ESH and shares. I too can relate to arriving with a tornado in my mind and heart. I knew of acceptance yet struggled to commit to it one day at a time, leaving behind my will and my willpower.
Today, I live a much simpler life. I strive for One Day at a Time only. I accept that which I can't change and focus on what I can change - me. I do feel free, free to be me and know that it's enough. Grateful for our program of recovery, those who work it and those who came before me and patiently shared with me so I too could surrender and live instead of just existing.
Hope your Tuesday is great! I joined a golf league and today was the first morning. I am still a beginner and had quite a bit of fear, especially since my normal golf partner (sponsor) had to leave town unexpectedly after we signed up for the league. ME wanted to bow out, beg off, etc. Yet SHE really encouraged me to go alone. For an unknown reason (thank you God), only one other gal showed up. She was kind, gracious, patient and gave me tons of tips that will helpfully improve my game!
I will be full of fear and anxiety again next week - no doubt. It's just how I approach 'new things'. Yet, it always goes way better than I thought and I think I'm glad I joined - will let you all know next week. Enjoy your day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene