The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP! Today's reading discusses humility. The writer learned in recovery that humility is not measured by how much I do for others, but by willingness to do our part in our relationship with the God of our understanding.
We begin to learn what humility is when we take the First Step. By admitting we are powerless, we make room for the possibility that a Power greater than self can do all those things which are beyond our reach as imperfect people. We begin to learn about what IS and what IS NOT our responsibility. As the fog clears in recovery, we are better able to do our part for self and others and better able to ask God for help to do the rest.
Recovery gives us an opportunity to consider habits and beliefs long entrenched in self and explore new ways with a Power greater than self.
Today's reminder -- Part of learning humility is learning to contribute to my own well-being. Today I will do something loving for myself that I'd normally do for someone else.
Today's Quote from Joseph Fort Newton -- "We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we can do with it - and that is what really counts in the end."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I struggled with the words 'humility' and 'powerlessness' when I started recovery. Simply because I'd been taught and raised that admitting I was struggling and/or did not know were signs of weakness. I could go on and on about so many 'things' in me that had to be reworked in recovery to free me from the bondage of self.
Yet, struggling with my will vs. the will of a power greater than I tested me and at times still does. When I am fearful, I still want to go to my will/wants/plan. I've learned in recovery that pausing long enough to consider recovery tools and suggestions gives me better ways to heal/deal. Reaching out for help from others was hard for me, yet when I was told that being humble just means being teachable and willing to be open, it was easier. I have learned to set aside the committee in my head and consult my sponsor, my HP and trusted program friends instead.
I have more peace and calm in my spirit by using the program way vs. my way! Grateful.....
Happy Thursday all - make it a great day. We had some wicked storms here last night with the tornado sirens blasting 3-4 times. I've got to do a walk around here to check for damage as well as rental property! It's a lovely morning to do so - enjoy your day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning IAH Great topic Humility and powerlessness. Two subjects that I refused to consider when i first entered program .
i heard "Changed attitudes do aid recovery " so i so kept showing up , sharing, using the steps and slogans and eventually found that humility and powerlessness had entered my life and vocabulary and were a true gift of this program.
When I was finally able to admit my powerlessness, I could then accept that I was not all powerful and was then able to surrender and make room for an all powerful HP to enter my life and guide my steps. What a true gift was my new found humility!!,
Thanks for your continued service
Thank you IAH for the daily and your service, and thank you Betty, for your ESH!
I too, fall back to "controlling mode" when I am fearful. It is very good that I know have tools to utilize, and people to trust so that I can pause and decide the next right thing for me. I really like the thought of ".... being humble just means being teachable and willing to be open."
Have been burning the candle at both ends lately. I know some of my irrational feelings yesterday is because of that. I will practice some form of self-care today.
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I never realised, until AlAnon, that I was powerless. Bit by bit I saw, spoke, read and researched that there was nothing I could do. That my thoughts and actions were completely wrong and not helping anyone. Not my husband and definitely not myself. I didn't figure this out until after my husband came out of recovery so it did take some time as I was bombarded with 'weirdness' when he came out. When I realised, I learned and am still learning. I was never afraid of my feelings, showing them or talking about them. I grew up being told I should talk and be open. My family was and is very close. I've learnt a lot and am much more peaceful for it.
Powerless and powerlessness was so much more than just the intellectual grasping that I had originally thought. It was freeing, empowering. Today, I live in the "absence of my will" space. In everything. I speak and live in my truth, and I constantly invite the perspective, insight, experience and expertise of others.
I still see the "frog in the water" scenario, often. The slippery slope. The slips. The triggers. All part of life. And I am grateful for all of it. It keeps me grounded, never complacent, always looking forward, living and enjoying life. All, all possible and here today, because of alanon.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Mahalo to my MIP family. These posts remind me of how I was raised in program and the definition of Humility which my sponsor taught me...the "keep it simple" version. PnP mentioned it as "humility is being teachable" which is what I practice 24/7. Being open minded and willing to let others offer me guidance and direction has worked the very best for me up till now and so humbly I will continue to practice it. Have a great day...Those wanting rain..we don't have it for now. Those wanting sun come get and enjoy the rest of the gifts I live with. LOL....just teasing...sober/sane teasing. ((((hugs))))
Great page, thank you IAH for your service! And for the ESH from all those above...
Each day, I have only to sort into two piles: things I can change, those I cannot/should not. I had those piles reversed for much of my life, then was surprised why my life was unmanageable.
Grateful for the simple wisdom of the program and the incredibly positive impact it can have on my life when I let it.
Yes it was a wild one last night IAH, glad you came out on the good side!
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Great shares and ESH! So good to see you Paul - I know now that you weathered the storm too! I took Miss Layla for a walk this morning and there was one tree - medium sized that was laying over - snapped close to the ground. It had blooms yet still snapped so wonder about it's strength before those massive winds...Grateful that it's clearing off a bit for tonight - I didn't want a repeat and now I get to head to the ball fields instead.
I have to share because recovery taught me that humor is good - yesterday, we also went for a walk. I wanted to wear sunglasses and didn't have my contacts in. I typically spend the time chatting with my HP so decided I didn't need to 'see' - it would be fine. Off we go ---
We return, come inside, and I settle in for the day. Several hours later when Layla wanted to go back outside (and I had eyes in), I realized we had tracked in mud big time. I couldn't see it before - that's how blind I am. Long story short - IT WAS NOT MUD - IT WAS DOGGIE DOO-DOO!
Life Lesson - I won't be walking in the future without my eyes in - what a nasty mess it was. Yet - it's so funny simply because I thought all went well and it was nice to just be during the walk!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning MIP and thank you all before me for great ESH as I sit here with a grin on my face. Just a few days ago I sat down with a cup of coffee after my morning walk with pup. I kept getting a whiff of poop and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Checking around the house finally led to my shoes at the front door and Bingo I'm the one who stepped in the stinky and brought it in the house. Before program I would have blamed the neighbor dog that left it on our lawn, my dog for having to take her outside and me for stepping in it oh and then I would be in a foul humor all day long. Seems a little maturity has taught me that life has a lot of little poop piles and even when careful I'm going to step in one once in awhile. Have learned to take off my shoes at the front door and today I humbly hosed off the bottom of my shoe and warmed up my coffee.
Stan1 - me too....before recovery, I would have looked beyond me for the cause and it would have affected my entire day. Today, I just laughed at me and cleaned it up. (((Hugs))) to all!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
humility, but not humiliation is what I heard once. It is not on the list of approved slogans. But by God's grace and tradition 4 I am allowed to say it here!
Words like modesty, pride, and others ring around me... I no longer live in the black and white world- "my way or the doorway". I know my boundaries- much of the time... and there are two or three steps between me and the doorway, these days...
...there is other stuff here, for me, outside of the reading. Which is fine. I can have group time to deal with other issues- if I need it.
But, beside that- I do like to fit in. To feel like I am in a comfort zone- inside of the rooms.
I have the right to be here... but also certain responsibilities. But I do not have overall responsibility for the group- nor for the thoughts and feelings of each and every member. [Believe me- I used to think like this!] It was a crossover from my family situation- of course!
But, over time I can learn what teamwork is about- and even have a sense of family- inside of the rooms! A sense of pride.
Thanks Iam...
... -D.