The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He finally admitted tonight that he has been seeing her and sleeping with her. He admitted it while make love to me. We were in the middle of sex and he told me exactly what happened. I got up and felt like I was going to throw up. I can't believe he admitted it. I guess part of me thought that as long as he denied it I could always have some hope. I have no hope now. The way that he told me made me sick. That shows how much he cares for me. He told me that it had nothing to do with me and he loves me and wants our marriage to work. He said that I did nothing wrong and have done nothing but love him. So why do I feel as if I am not enough for him. I did tell him about the affair. I am hurting so much. I still am going between anger and numbness. Please pray for my sanity because I feel as if it is slipping.
I am sorry you are hurting so bad and go through such emotional torture. I posted a very similiar situation earlier today. However, I am so happy you got truth...you deserve that. There are many people who go through the agony of where you were before. Not knowing, Not knowing what to believe, Not sure if they want to trust their gut. You have the truth, and were able to tell the truth to him...and the truth sets us free. For tonight, I wish you peace and sleep. That the ache of your heart will subside long enough for a new day to come. God Bless you and keep you. Robyn
The way he told you was very insensitive. Sometimes i dont think that men or should i say alcoholics think before they speak. I will tell you that his cheating had NOTHING to do with you... I dont know your situation but i do know that cheating was HIS decision not yours and YOU are not to blame for his behavior.
Try to do something today for YOU.. Take a walk, get a pedicure, check in a hotel for the day/night..
I am so sorry for the pain that you are experiencing... I will pray for you...
I am with Tammy on this one. The timing of the confession was very insensitive. I myself would not have been abe to be intimate that quickly after finding out about the affair. I have read that men feel more close after sex. That is not something I feel. I have the need to feel close before I can be intimate. Take care of you and give yourself some time to heal. Your emotions have to just be raw!
God, what a lousy, hurtful way to tell you. I am trying to understand why, during sex, he would sprout this news. Maybe my first sentence answers that question. I am sorry you are hurting. And I hope that you will heal from this blow quickly and go on to decide the right path to take.
Sincere caring, Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
It is true, it is the disease that makes them act the way they do, it's just up to us to decide if we can live with it or not. I know I can put up with a lot of crap, but another woman, I'm not sure about that one....I tried to live with that before, and it tore me up inside, and took years to recover from.
That's the keyword, recover. Keep taking care of yourself. You may need a lot of sleep now. Whatever you need to do for yourself, do it. If it is healthy, that is.
I have screamed and punched my pillow before, until I was hoarse, and once even took a big pole outside and beat up a tree in the yard, until my arms were numb. I have run until I couldn't stand anymore. Anything to get the grief and anger out. Then you can start to heal. Wish I were there to make you a soothing cup of tea and just talk. We'll have to make do with this or the chatroom. Hope to see you there.
