The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Shortly after new years I had to call an ambulance for my wife. After a being at the ER for a few hours and not hearing anything we were asking questions and i found out that she had a BAC of almost .50 vice the assumed issue of BP med issues. I had to come home early because she wasn't feeling well and on my way home got a call from her doctor bevause she had called them and sounded off, so they called me to see if I was there with her and to take her to urgent care or er. I couldn't get her to get up so had to call 911 and then take our 2 year old to the er during flu season... All because of her drinking. 5 hours later I finally left her there to bring our son home and put him to bed.
So after this and telling her family and them getting involved and her doc telling her she had to choose bp meds or dinking, she pledged to stop. We made 21 days and our marriage was back to being good and she was happy again... until yesterday, and today.
Last year was more difficult and painful than anything I want to ever go through again. She doesn't work and we don't have extra money, I don't want to get separated but I also can't go back to how things were.
21 days was the longest she'd gone for probably 20 years since she was a teenager.
It's so difficult to get your hopes up over a over believing that it won't happen again just to have it repeat every time.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Hello Shane and welcome to MIP. So sorry for how the disease has affected you and your family - you've landed at a great place to possibly begin your healing. Alcoholism, as you have probably seen, is progressive and baffling. It's also considered a family disease which means it does reach out and affect most who live with or love an alcoholic. It's way too much to bear alone - enter recovery.
Al-Anon saved my bacon - I went there angry, fearful, devastated and very broken. Others who understand and have also been affected by alcoholism showed me how to work my own recovery to find me again. I suggest you try to find a meeting/two and give it a try.
Keep coming back here too - you are not alone! There is hope and help in recovery and you will be welcome whether she is actively drinking or seeking recovery herself.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((Shane)) I do so understand and can so identify.Please search out alanon face to face meetings and attend. As IAH has indicated, the meetings do help to break the isolation caused by interacting with this dreadful disease. The powerful tools that are shared helped me to learn how to rebuild my self esteem and find new constructive tools to live by You are not alone so please do keep coming back as there is hope
Generally 8f someone is ceasing drinking on their own it is called white KNUCKLING
There are actually people who do get sober white KNUCKLING.
However what seems to help most people is to be in.a 12 step program like AA which offers peer support a great deal of empathy and a lot of feedback.
I can only imagine how frustrated you are with your wife's health issues Addiction is pretty baffling In al anon.we
Work to detach from the frustrations and overwhelming powerlessness that alcoholism causes. We empower ourselves with mutual support in addition to an intuitive program that blends self care with a great deal of pragmatism.
No one wants to come in these room but when they do they discover a level of acceptance non judgmentalism. deep caring and respect they have been missing
Some people do indeed get sober even after years of failure There are many unlikely success stories. In the interim whether the alcohol8c gets sober or not we can taj e better care of ourselves Al anon has some very helpful suggestions and ideas about how to move ahead
(((Shane))) You are in a very rough place. You are not alone. You will find so many living in your situation who have found peace through alanon...... whether the relationship remains or not, whether the drinking continues or not. It's about helping us get out of our own pain inflicted by the disease of alcohol. Keep coming back. As you read on, you'll find many others who have gone through what you are going through or are going thru it now with support.
