The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading discusses what many of us focused on prior to recovery! It was 'not us' - almost anyone or anything else...We often loved the drama of another's crisis and talked about it often. Our own lives seems trivial and our issues felt small in comparison. Most of us found it very hard to focus on self when we arrived at Al-Anon.
We instead wanted to talk about the alcoholic at meetings, but no one seemed interested. They just kept asking about us - How we felt, What we did, What we wanted...as we practice recovery, we begin to understand we often were overly interested in others because we had a low opinion of self. Self-harm is a direct result of acting as if other's lives and issues are more important than our own.
We learn to value our own experience in recovery. We learn to focus on self to rebuild self-esteem. We learn to practice putting ourselves first by talking about our feelings, concerns, achievements instead of others. Meetings become a great place to learn, practice and grow.
Today's reminder --- Today, if I'm tempted to gossip or to create drama around someone else's life, I will ask myself, "What is going on with me?"
Today's Quote from Al-Anon Spoken Here --- "We talk about the part we played in our problems and how we change our attitudes and reactions by applying the Al-Anon program to our lives."
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I am 'guilty' as charged. I showed up at Al-Anon wanting fixes for my A's. My own ego, denial and pride told me I was good and all would be well if they would change. I was a member of the If.....then, When.....then, If only.....then, etc. I really struggled to focus on me as I really thought they were the issue and I was not.
It took practice in recovery to pause when life happened, and check 'me'. How do I feel? What am I thinking? What do I want/need? It took even longer for me to realize I was not responsible for the actions, emotions, reactions and drama others caused in their lives - it was my job to take good care of me and protect me as the most important person in my life.
Today, I am able to share my truth without a mention of 'what I think others did to me, around me or .....' I am responsible and accountable for my day, my moment, my emotions and my recovery. When I stay God-centered, and trust the process, it's way easier to focus on me and how I can be of service. So grateful for the cosmic shift recovery has brought to my life, attitudes and outlook!
Happy Thursday to one and all - make it a great day! I am venturing out to try a different meeting this afternoon - I am a little fearful, a little excited and a bit anxious all at once.....this too shall pass! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great Reminder IAH, I too was guilty of believing that I was perfect when i first entered program. Working the Steps and examining my motives certainly did open my eyes to the truth. I found that it was safe to be honest about my defects because program offered me the wisdom to develop new constructive tools to live by without negative judgment .
Hope the new meeting works out. Thanks for your service
Thank you for the share IAH.
The fear of change without knowing "how" to change kept me in the pit. Also guilty of thinking others were more important than me too. I was a master at discounting my own needs and focusing on others..........to the point I totally lost myself. I am grateful for this program and the wonderful people in it! I know I have value today. I have a long, long ways to go but have come so far from that dark pit that was so scary!
