The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Learning about trust: The author spoke of her difficulty trusting other people, and expected rejection when she asked someone to sponsor her. But she was accepted by the sponsor, guided through the steps, and over time received so many positive responses.
The author remarks that she was willing to take a chance, trusted, and learned that she was worth saving!
Today's reminder: Learning to value myself can begin by having the courage to find, and use, a sponsor.
Quote by Reinhold Niebuhr: Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love.
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I didn't think I would ever need a sponsor, or F2F meetings, so for about a year I sporadically posted on the board. I too became a mess, as the author said she was, so finally asked someone to sponsor me. She couldn't do it, recommended someone else, and that relationship lasted about six weeks. I tried not to take it personally when my sponsor had to let me go, without much of an explanation. I decided to ask the first person again, and she agreed to sponsor me!
The story from here is one of developing trust, difficult for me, and working the steps, and receiving the most wonderful help and positive feedback. I wouldn't be where I am today without the care of my sponsor who on daily basis provided me with guidance, and ESH. And I needed it! I took a chance, it finally worked out, and I will always be GRATEFUL to this amazing person. She has taught me about recovery, and that I have more assets than I ever imagined. HP blessed me with an angel, Lyne
Finding a sponsor, having the courage to ask someone to sponsor, is a frightening thing for those used to rejection, like myself. How affirming, when someone accepts!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thnaks for your service Lyne and for sharing your recovery experiences. I found that having been isolated for so many years surrounded by the disease, that I had unwittingly developed many negative coping tools that alanon helped me to identify and shed.
I experienced the irrational fear and dread that the ODAT speaks about so that simply walking through the doors of an alanon room required a huge effort. I sat for many meetings without speaking. I did listen and learned so that when I finally did develop enough courage to reach out , I found a willing person who agreed to sponsor me. How grateful i was!!.
I must note that, as you o doubt found, in this fellowship of equals, the sponsor grows just as much as the sponseee. Recovery from this dreadful disease is a process and we cannot do it alone
Thanks for being here an thanks for your service
t
Lyne - thanks so much for the daily and your service. For all above me - Lyne, skorpi and Betty - thank you for your ESH....
I too thought I could 'go it alone'. Perhaps just go to meetings and cherry pick aspects of the program that I thought would work for me. I too found myself between a rock and hard place as the disease progressed around me and I was far from sane and not coping well...
It is so frightening to consider asking someone to sponsor you. Yet, like so many other things in life that I projected would end one way - it ended much differently. I consider a nudge from HP sent me to ask the gal who sponsors me and it's been a rewarding experience. I will admit that until she popped on my radar, I wasn't quite certain who, what, etc....yet - when she appeared I just had a feeling that's where I needed to place my life and my trust.
I had this idea (distorted thinking) that asking for help was a sign of weakness. I now believe that asking for help is a sign of humaness. I can wear my human condition, imperfect and flawed, loud and proud today - thanks to recovery. I still get a bit freaked out when the idea pops into my head to 'ask for help' yet I feel encouraged to do so as I consider the facts instead of my feelings.
Happy Monday to all - I've had a busy morning....they are doing a special neighborhood pick up for flood damage/debris tomorrow so I spent many hours this morning hauling to the curb. It was a beautiful morning and I'm grateful we have good weather for the here/now. I had some errands to do and later today, I'm meeting a gal pal from my home group for dinner. Busier than planned, but mighty proud of what I've gotten done so far!!
Make it a great day....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
