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Good morning Family...hope all is well with your all. You ever go to a Read, Write, Talk meeting? I attended my first one last evening and we used the Survival to Recovery book which is one that I like much. Instruction was to read first and then write and then share. Booo I begged out from the first effort to talk because the first sentence I read hit me right between the eyes and tore the door off of my emotion locker. It was from a member who's father decided to correct a defect in her because the defect was she was left handed and here I was an ambidextrous adult who was also told and corrected as a child from using my left hand because it was the hand of the devil and then having it secured in a way I couldn't use it in order to use my right hand only. "God doesn't create JUNK" is what I learned in early Al-Anon which still is a great slogan for me decades later. I was corrected using punishment!! from a mother and grand-mother who use to use the justification for the punishment because they "loved" me. Amazing how that wedges its way into the psyche and lodges itself unconsciously in the brain? I woke up this morning in prayer telling my Higher Power I hoped to be acceptable in thought, feelings and deeds today. What the hell was triggered last night to cause that concern that I might not be and needed to watch out. My HP is unconditional love...that is HP love and I am not junk.
My mom and grand mother were both greatly affected by the diseases in their lives which in turn greatly affected me and they would argue over their rights to subject us with their beliefs. They argued over feeding us wine...Mom/No....Grandmom/Yes...Grandmom won the argument and I was turned on at the age of 9. They were the instruction books on how to live my life and the gurus.
Of course look how I turned out using my own choices eh?
This is less a blame game post than it is a inventory of lessons my sponsor and I worked out regarding how I needed to change my life and move on in peace of mind and serenity. His caveat to me was Choose the consequence you want and then do the action to get it. I write right handed by someone else's choice I work this program because of my own.
Slow down...inventory the situation and my choices of what I want and how I want it to go and practice, practice, practice. The AFG and MIP is the best family I have had. Mahalo Piha...Thanks for ever (((((hugs)))))
Oh Jerry.......you brought up 'stuff' in me as well.....my father, who is also ambidextrous was also 'punished' for being left handed. I am also left-handed and while my parents left me alone, you can bet the nuns and priests at the Catholic School wrapped my knuckles frequently for using it to write with. That yard sticks hurt!!
I am a known 4th generation by-product of the disease. We don't know back beyond that if Alcoholism existed, but I am guessing so. Of the cousins on my mom's side, I am the only left-handed and was for years the 'black-sheep' - not for that but it started the 'devil in me view' of me. We are a 50/50 family - I and one of my sons are predominantly left and my AH and other son are right. Us south-paws both bat right handed and golf right handed as that's the only way we learned. I've taught myself to bat left-handed but prefer right.
I've not been to a meeting like you discuss but it sounds like a cool meeting format. (((Hugs))) to you and yours!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
At last night's meeting, the 12 steps to insanity were handed out. I had never seen this before - it's the 12 steps modified towards our tendencies ... for example, instead of Let Go and Let God, it read, I will try to control all people and circumstances. We read a step aloud and all had a chance to share their experience.
One great tidbit for my take-away was when some one shared that with loved ones, arguments are unnecessary.... when a loved one says something upsetting, rather than engage, to ask what it is that they need.
-- Edited by bud on Friday 18th of August 2017 05:14:12 PM
Mahalo for the early responses and of course IAH...my sister from another mother the urge to know you more is wide and deep because of the share experiences even those that involved others just out of range. Amazing yet re-enforces the damage of the past to and from other relatives. We're on this journey together it seems or of course, we're family. Nuns, Priests, Catholic school and protocols, yard sticks and more and of course alcoholism. Acceptance is the solution to all of my to all of my problems. ((((hugs))))
