The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my first meeting on Monday and just listened. Tuesday my A son was drunk and I was beating myself up for not getting phone numbers. Today I went to a meeting, got there early and said I was new and needed numbers. One woman said there was a group list and she'd look for it. By the time the meeting was over, no list was forthcoming. Instead of sinking into irrational thinking - "No one wants to give me their number - i'm not good enough" - I screwed up my courage and walked up to someone and said, "Can I have your number?" I repeated this another four times. It was the hardest thing I've done after walking into my first meeting.
Now the next hard step - finding a sponsor. How do I do that?
Congratulations on doing such a hard thing. Well done. You are braver than I am. I'm too new at this too to have a sponsor but I know already that someone in this group will have that knowledge. Keep going to the meetings. Your strength is inspirational to me.
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"To change the world, start with one step. However small, first step is hardest of all" Dave Matthews Band
Krystyna, welcome and congratulations. Keep going to meetings and keep being courageous. You will soon realize these people are not strangers -- they are just friends you haven't met yet. They have all been exactly where you've been -- and so have we. Obviously this meeting/group has a telephone list. They simply couldn't find it. Keep asking -- every meeting you go to. Listen to people share, and those who sound "good" and healthy, and understand the program and how to work it -- go talk to them, tell them you are struggling and ask them for their phone number. These people will give it to you.
This is the same way you get a sponsor -- and announce that you are looking for one, even a temporary sponsor. Some meetings may have a temporary/sponsor list. But, get there early, stay late, talk to people, ask, listen, find someone -- if they sound like they get it, are healthy, work the program, understand how to do it, apply it, etc. -- then talk to them. Ask them.
You are doing great...so keep doing it...and you will get better and get healthy.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Hi Krystyna, welcome, and great progress asking for phone numbers!
My home group was/is small and new, and we are just embarking on having sponsors. I heard one new person share in the meeting that they appreciate the program and the fellowship, and they think they have gotten as far as they can, independently, and would like to ask for a sponsor. They said they would be honored to have anyone in the group sponsor them. I think they were able to connect after the meeting with someone who was interested in sponsoring them. Of course, if you feel a connection with someone specific in the meeting, you can also ask that person specifically, just like you asked for numbers.
You are doing great, and you are just where you need to be.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I agree with Skorpi - see if there's someone who's share speaks to you!!! That's how I went about it. I intentionally also looked for someone who had what I wanted - I was an anxious, too serious, list-making task-masking soul. I found a fun, calm, intelligent, gentle gal who spoke from the heart in her shares. It's been a great fit and I've learned tons....
Great job leaning in so far! Great job getting phone numbers....just keep doing what you're doing!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I just love this post and what it has brought out to this fellowship. The recovery here is so right on and brings back memories of my journey in recovery and also re-ignites the feelings of happiness and excitement I felt when the program started to work in my life. When I learned to say "Thank You God" for what was working in my life and meant it I became confident in what we were doing. I also would chase down members in the fellowship to ask for help with most being women because there wasn't a whole lot of men in program in our area...they never refused me ever and I know that special feeling of love I learned here. Mahalo to the Family. ((((hugs))))
