The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my a brother texted me and asked me if we could talk
Of course I called him back and we just agreed to disagree on his drinking and we would be a loving brother and sister and basically he said again that he wanted to drink and get drunk but that he loved me and that I was always going to be his sissy and that yes, he wanted to be loving siblings with me, and yes he would do what he could to fit me in his life because I am the only sibling he has as well I confessed to him that I felt abandoned and reacted in a way that was overkill and I made an amends over that and told him that I did not want to completely disassociate from him, however, there would never be drinking allowed on my property. He agrees so we did have a loving talk today and I feel better about that
I went to Walmart and I bought 48 colored pencils and two adult coloring books on nature and botanical and I am going to do coloring in my coloring books to help me relax and get centered and be mindful so it is basically, sort of, a self imposed therapy for me to help me with my grief and all the unwanted changes that have happened in my life. I love to lie in bed and color. I did it as a child when I was escaping my pain. But I am not using it this time for an escape but to just be mindful and to make my mind peaceful I am doing breathing exercises as well, one example, breathing in love and peace and breathing out fear and frustration and actually seeing the negative energy leaving
I am glad I posted about my brother because I needed to get a better perspective and I am grateful that I did. I really didn't want to completely let him go. I was letting my grief run my actions.
Tired tonight you you really helped me thank you xo
I always felt amazing when getting to the point where I could realize and say "I really didn't want to" and fill in the blank. That was part of my acceptance, surrender and then really letting go. Glad you are feeling better Rose.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
OH!! you guys are gonna laugh at this...I have shopped at this one goodwill FOREVER!!! I walk in with my back pack..everyone knows I had a back injury and have to have even weight on my back....so this very snotty acting gal at the register TELLS me "maam you have to bring you backpack up to the desk NOW, B4 you shop" yelled it in front of everyone.....I asked for the mgr who is my friend...HE comes up and hes mad at her for making me feel like a spectacle in front of the other customers...He told me there was a lot of shoplifting and that this was the new rule, but he was so sorry I was treated that way and that HE would watch my backpack as i shopped.....I thanked him and he took my bag up front
I dont' like the idea of leaving my bag up front , if hes there, ok, but if hes not?? I don't like my wallet, meds, cell up there what if these underpaid and transient workers rip ME off...
SO I bought a little grey leather purse to stuff my meds, cell, wallet, etc., in WHEN i feel like shopping there again and will leave back pack in the car
MY response to this??? the hassle of doing that is gonna save me a TON of money because I will only want to go in when the dogs are completely out of toys or they have a whopper of a sale and I can't resist...............so ya know???? i'm not going to bitch...I'm gonna save money.........ANOTHER CHANGE< but I'm not gonna fight this...Not gonna let it take me down, emotionally......Screw them and their greedy prices....I will only go in on special occasions.....need to save.....stash away to fix up this house so if I DO move, It will be in good shape....Got a guy up the street lined up to do some "make ready--cosmetic" stuff.......
This is such a great example of the program in action. You made your amends and shared what was in your heart with him. I'm so glad it worked out. I like the nice things you decided on to nurture and care for yourself. You're welcome, you've helped me too, (((Rose)))) Thank you. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
yea, (((((((((((TT)))))))))))))) it ended up a decent day...my first outing since I got so sick...I hit very easy tennis, talked to my bro. made amends and I was surprised..he was in the car with his BMF going to ME to get some diesal parts for a big ship he is working on and he told me I was his "sissy kins" (he calls me Sissy) anyway, he told me how much he loved me and admired me as "the perfect girl" it was soooo sweet of him and he SAID this in FRONT of his best buddy....I know his BMF and I sorta think my bro. wants to fix me up with him...I forgot a lot of what he looks like (BMF) but as I recall, he was cute, LOL.......my brother and I used to date each others friends.....it was funny ...we had a lot of fun when we were young.....and yea, I am glad I made amends to him and just told him my heart..he got all soft and squishy telling me he would never abandone "his perfect Sissy" and he just soothed me, LOL...it was really nice....and yea, I went to walmart after tennis and errends, exhausted and got the coloring books for $2.50 each and the 2 packs of 24 color pencils...$1.97 a box.........and GOOD leads on them....so yea, today was ok.....I'm still not 100%, not close, but gonna exercise more tomorrow...just ease my way back into being human again............you are the BEST, TT.......and I am sooo glad I help you....that makes me smile.....I'm so glad you are here...........BIG GR8ful HUGSSSSS
