The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear Teddy, welcome to MIP...you came to the right place...are you going to meetings yet?? if not, I would suggest that you go ASAP...the police are correct, they cannot do anything unless there is some sort of danger to him...not holing up and drinking..there is nothing you can do except to take care of you....focus on you and the kids, and work your program...I am glad you came here, post...vent...get it off your chest... but please find a face to face al-anon meet near you that you can go to and there are old timers there whom you can share with...I used to hang out after the meets and I got REAL good takes on things I could do to take care of me....we don't have any meets near me anymore, they just dont' last, so I go on line and hang out in the chat room after and lots of folks there to offer support....what you need to do is get your mind on your recovery and give him over to his maker ..If he doesn't get help and arrest this drinking, he will get worse, so you need a game plan on how to support you and the kids....a plan B because he could get fired for "no show" at work....I know, its tough, especially when you have kids, but now is the time to focus on you and what steps you can take to take care of you and the kids..................glad you came here.......there is a lot of support and love here....you are not alone...its scary when you see your support possibly going down the tubes but there are measures you can take..................PEACE
Aloha Teddy and welcome to the MIP Family where we know what you are going thru being victims of the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction ourselves. You are in the right place and there are probably more of us near you in your neighborhood. I suggest looking up the hotline number for Al-Anon in the white pages of your local telephone book and call for the nearest face to face group so you can come down and join us in learning about this incurable often fatal disease that sickens the mind, body, spirit and emotions. Keep coming back here often. ((((Hugs))))
Welcome Teddy,
I am sorry you are going through this. Alcoholism is a powerful disease that effects the whole family. Alanon teaches us the three "Cs', we didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we cannot cure it. My ex-abf would go on binges and not want to talk to anyone. I too called the police, and he was fine just drinking a lot. It really is worrisome, but I had to learn to lean on my higher power. Alanon is a great support group, and you can meet other people like yourself. I hope things get better, take care of yourself and your children.
I too send a welcome out to you Teddy and so sorry for the chaos and insanity brought about by the disease. As pointed out, we do understand and you are not alone. The disease is progressive and never cured, only arrested through recovery of some sort. I spent many years living with the disease and getting more and more anxious, worried - insane. I resisted Al-Anon, yet finally surrendered and that's the only thing that has helped me find balance, peace and joy in my life.
I too suggest seeking local meetings and attending. There, you will find others who live with or have lived with the disease. They are also seeking recovery for self, and will listen without judgement or advice. Instead we collectively share our own ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) so that others may benefit and find their own path to a better life and joy.
Keep coming back here too - there is hope and help in recovery. We use literature, slogans and the steps for our own recovery. Most meetings have literature available for purchase. You are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I would suggest finding a face-2-face AlAnon meeting. Through Al-Anon, I learned how to take care of myself whether my AW was drinking or not.
I hope things get better for you, and I hope you keep coming back. Al-Anon is a powerful program and, in my experience, it works when we show up and try it.
(((hugs)))
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
