One of the cd's I am listening to while I sleep, the man's voice is kind of muffled, so it's hard to hear.  Like any great movie/book, the more u read it, the more u will see in it.  I began to notice the voice saying  "patterns" & "integration" over & over.

Assimilation & integration are important aspects/points for me.  I want to integrate my serenity into my entire life ~ I want peace.  To meditate & see the patterns (as guided from this cd) coming out from my hands, feet, head,  chakras, effects of like spider webs,  noticing patterns within patterns, seeing orbs & repeats  the ripple effects  of God/energy that we all effect each other, repeat patterns & then thinking about what this means

Maybe my breaking a pattern in one aspect of my life, will enable me to break others more easily in other areas of life.  Maybe my breaking a pattern will enable others to break patterns.  Perhaps it isn't even breaking patterns but seeing the pattern as it is & choosing to see the value of it, the positive & not the negative trap.

O, God how I want to rise above! You know how much I want to integrate what I know & am doing into a beam, like a klaidescope, shifting around, beautifully, painfully ~ we all know with love & growth there is pain ~ until I reach the divinity, and I want to!

I want to be that divine light that God wants for me, bubbling over with laughter, light, joy & grace.  I know that life is possible...  as I am set free, as I spend time working on myself dilignetly (excessively to some) but hey, we all have our own choices & lives to live!

I want to unconditionally love myself, I will unconditionally love myself, with gentle wisdom & compassion, not narcissism.  The layers of the onion r being peeled away, I am seeing new things, not the same lessons over & over, I am assimilating & learning them, and getting new ones to grow on.

I love how in the Chinese language there is NO word for problem...  opportunity comes the closest.  An opportunity for growth or to face a challenge, imagine, if that word "problem" didn't exist in English!

The Greeks had 9 words for love & Eskimos have 20 something to describe snow.

I am a seeker of the truth, always have been.  Being ACOA I raked myself over the coals my entire life thus far, believing my famililial problems/issues were all of my fault.  I now know this is not true, not just logically anymore but actually!

I do think we have to have the realisation first, then we have to show or get opportunities in which we can prove our understanding of this knowledge... this is how I think of it now w/ God, not a test so much as an opportunity for growth or to prove I have actuallized a lesson.

Dear God, I want to be Your shining star, I want to integrate my patterns (lives) whatever...  so that I can grow beyond this realm.  For a long time I thought if I stopped suffering my life would end but now I decide I want a life...  this 2nd half of my life, to be one overflowing with joy...  just cuz I think I have something (like peace & happienss, joy), doesn't mean it has to end.  I used to think this because molecularly it is true, once all the negativity is erradicated we will dissipate but I think I will continue to be a human enough to enjoy my next 40 yrs to balance out those extremely painful first!!! 

Yeah, very in touch with a lot of pain...  having such a capacity for pain means one has a huge capacity for love. It is wirtten we couldn't take it, the glory, we'd burst, so I'll handle what I can by applying what I've learned so far!  Oh yeah, thanks for giving me a voice God ~ grateful I'm still around, it's ALL You!

Molecularly this will happen eventually & the sun will catch fire to the Earth, every star dies at some point but I think I can make it until then! 

Let there be love, light & understanding!  God's will be done, the I AM!

Love, -Kitty of Light

p.s. Angels are messengers of God or simply a carrier of (the) truth.