The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks.
I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this day, the words do not come from his mouth, only mine. This has been going on for years. I have been supporting him by not drinking at all at home to help. I purchase herbal Mitadone to help him while drying out, but he always starts to drink after 5 days of trying. Mainly, my patience is gone, I feel we have a shortened future. This motel plan is so I don't have to worry what kind of day it's going to be drinking AH or sober AH. My other reason is I am hoping he takes the time to accept that he needs to get on the ball and start a detox program. I have read many stories of relapses after detox, and I know it is his decision to start. I just don't know what else to do but have a couple weeks of my own peace of mind.
And to top it off, our 10th Wedding Anniversary is Nov 11th.
Hi Naomi, I totally understand your reasoning for staying at a motel. It sounds like a great way to take care of yourself so you can be at your best when starting your new job. "A couple of weeks of peace of mind" is a very good thing.
I'm sorry that your 10th anniversary may not be what you would have wished... but so glad you are focusing on yourself. I hope this is the start of a happier new path for you.
Hi Naomi - I have so much respect for your decision. Life changes - like new jobs - are never easy, I'm glad you're taking such good care of yourself. I love staying in hotel rooms...so much of the day-to-day pressure goes out the window. Can't do anything about the cooking, laundry, cleaning out the garage, running out with dry-cleaning - or deal with the butterflies the unpredictability and suspense the qualifier's behavior can engender.
All of the best on your new job - and congratulations!
Denizen
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"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
First congratulations on the new job. Good for you making this decision to start off on a positive note and get the rest and mental recharge needed in the first two weeks. I found it so peaceful when my AH wasn't at home....even the days that he was in the hospital detoxing. Funny how that sounds when you type that out. Stay positive and I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Congrats on the job, and the motel soulds like a good move, peace and calm for a fresh start at work sounds wonderful. I'll be thinkng about how I can give myself peace and some space away from my qualifiers too. Thank you for this reminder and best wishes for the new job
I also send Congratulations for your new job!!! I can't think of a better way to start it - going to a hotel each evening, reviewing the day in peace, taking care of you! Marvelous self-care - sending prayers and positive thoughts for an awesome new start...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am starting a new job soon too, but I no longer live with active addiction. I would have never been able to do so if I was still living with XAH. Kudos to you for taking care of yourself!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I'm thinking that if you had a sponsor that it would be nice to have that sponsor spend some time with you during the lull filling your time with ESH and no worry, fear and 2nd guessing yourself. Take care and keep checking in with MIP....(((((hugs))))
