The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So this has been a weird year for me, many changes in my mother's beahviour since I "learned" to work on loving myself.
March 1 ~ we heard no exuberant "it's birthday month baby!" & today she barked over the phone. "your cake is ready & I froze it." (why?)
Two weeks early?
Uhmmm, okay, I sd, "why 2 weeks early? ~ You know what you have always said to me on this day March 15th my entire life? 'Beware the Ides of March'. Is this cuz of the car?" Things just won't be the same.
Well dunno, I struck a deal w/ my step-father for his car on Monday. Since I lost everything of sentimental value w/ my ex, this car has been in the family for many years, I've always coveted & it's way sexier than what I was driving. This is something of my parents I can feel 'sentimental' about. You know, passed down, an heirloom.
Monday, before the cake comment, she said, "you go around telling me I'm co-dependent." - I interrrupted, I said, "no I tell everyone I'm codependent". Well I probably did say she's codie to ppl growing up, her husband & her boyfirend recently, who said we would & could have our own relationship. So no boundaires there! He's just as screwy as the rest of my family... No biggie, glad I know. Then she fussed at me, to 'explain' "this is why I'm not helping you one way or the other, you are doing all of this on your own & you will do more & more, to be independent."
30 minutes later she called and sd, "A wants out of the car & has been looking for any excuse to do it" yeah only 5 yrs! & I actually did have that thought earlier that Monday. So she'll break her own boundaries, wants me to be happy but still, where is the love? Piled under a confused dank "veil" of behaviors.
Today she called to say, "the car deal is still on, do you have my "wtvr" cd?" oh yeah then barked at me over the cake.
Why would the car deal be off? I made it w/ the A & even sent an e-mail to have it on paper.
Things will never be the same.... I will NOT be abused, neglected or treated like my feelings aren't valid by anyone - ANYONE! This includes myself... working on this one, an old habit but with diligence I will change!
God's will be done! I get it Lord, changes for me & them
-- Edited by kitty at 19:41, 2006-03-15
-- Edited by kitty at 18:01, 2006-03-16
-- Edited by kitty at 18:09, 2006-03-16
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Hi Kitty, You seem to be getting stronger each day with putting all that "barking" behind you. I'm glad you decided to detach mentally. Look forward to seeing you back on chat and mtgs.
Stick to your guns...you are doing what is best for you. Don't let her hurt you with her actions or words. You are stronger than that. Take care..I hope you are feeling physically better too!
Two weeks early? 
