The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So glad she got here about .5hr ago. Was washed up and ready to take over kids.
Not sure how to apply boundaries when neighbor brings kids and am trapped . I will be telling her no more A in my apt period beings she won't put a limit on it. I did not want to and feared doing something other than watching till she got back. I will say something about it in a few days when it blows over. She didn't even say thanks k m a or bye when she left. I couldn't help but be stone cold. Last night she called me an evil b , f u , etc. When she called to say she was on her way she said 'HI Mommy" I couldn't even acknowledge it. Am I wrong after all this or is that instigating ? I just felt cold is better than rage or expressing the anger of being trapped with no choice in the matter much less respect of the common descency of asking 1st. Am i being off base.? Has anyone else had to deal with this?
Thanks for being there, I sure need some support to keep my sanity for the time being.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,BLESSINGS TO ALL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.....................
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
hi, went back and read your other post. First there are meetings in our chat room.
They are ran just like a regular meeting.
Ok I sure see you have been thru way too much. It is doubly hard when you have grandkids involved.
We learn in alanon number one we have to take care of ourselves. The A or anyone has to answer to their behavior. I read that your A beats on you? I believe that is what I read. My A is also abusive. My experience is, call 911. I hate the thought that you are afraid.
Do you know of social services in your area that help elderly and or people who are disabled? If I were you I would start protecting myself. Your doors lock, the A is not sane. I would deny her access to me at all.
She is also emotionally abusing you, using profanity at you is unforgiveable in my book. We teach others how to treat us. If we allow anyone to treat us in a way that makes us uncomfortable, we are the ones who can change it.
Have you read the book,"Getting Them Sober?" It is easy to read and sure helped me. You can order it online, or if you want to private message me, I will find one and send it to you.
When I get mixed up like you seem, I stop and rest and don't allow anything in to upset me. It may just be one nights sleep. Then I start a list of what I want and or need to do.
I wanted to say too, your daughter is very sick. I know it would not be easy to tell her no. But I learned to help our A's we have to tell them no, not take the kids, not allow them in, not give them money not do anything for them. If we do, it makes them sicker. Makes it easier for them to use.
I hope you keep coming back. Do you have anyone helping you to get the help from Fema etc?Do you have a caseworker or anything?
hope to see ya here again. Believe me you are more than welcome. It helps all of us to keep coming back. We need you too, you know. love,debilyn
Just wanted to extend a very, warm welcome to you and give you a big hug. You're in the right place. In Al-anon, the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. We try to work an 'honest program' here so you shouldn't need to 'read between the lines'. We recommend, if its at all possible, face to face meetings (f2f) AS well AS online support. Many of us need all the support we can get, wherever we can get it! There are meetings online in the chat room, pop in and have a look. You will need to enter your screenname, or for security reasons you will get 'booted'. Its not personal but I mention it as it happened to me when I 1st went into 'chat' and I'd never been online before. I would suggest you watch 1st to get a feel for how the meeting runs,especially if you've never attended f2f meets.
There is also a good supply of informative and helpful literature. I believe you can buy it from the bookstore here. It was an invaluable aid to me when I 1st joined Al-anon. There is a daily reader called 'Courage To Change' (C2C). Its brilliant. Helps you focus on something healthy and useful, gives insights into the disease and teaches you to focus on yourself. Certain topics are listed in the back, showing all the pages that relate to the topic: for example Confusion, Anger, Fear etc. It also shows the 12 Steps and Traditions of Al-anon, which may help you understand the fellowship better. We do not give direct advice to others but share our experience, strength and hope (ESH)
I'm so sorry to hear about you being displaced, disabled and living with the effects of alcoholism. You're a survivor so keep on hanging in there but please do whatever is necessary to keep yourself safe. I really do wish you well. My A is my husband, he's in recovery but we both have several members in our families with the problem. We don't have children so although I may not be able to identify with your circumstances, I can identify with your feelings. Feel free to private message (pm) me if you have any questions about what I've said.
Keep coming back, we need you as much as you need us. With love in the fellowship
With love in the fellowship 