The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday my husband got the bill of sale. I am suffering from both a cold and now emotional/mentally.
I cut my arm over this car issue. it is like scartchs marks with a knife.
alot of people have been helping me. it is hard to change my thinking. once u cut u feel the pain at that moment leave. but then marks are there to remind u or ur pain.
-- Edited by nycbt at 12:55, 2006-03-14
-- Edited by nycbt at 12:56, 2006-03-14
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
I hope u watched Oprah today...they talked about cutting. I am hoping you can get some help with this problem. Please, please try not to hurt yourself. Come here and talk...it can't hurt to talk about how u r feeling.
(((((nycbt)))))) I am so sorry you are sick and having to deal with this car issue also. Being sick makes everything worse, it seems.
Please do not cut yourself anymore. Talk to us. Cutting will not make the car go away, or the pain you are in.
Call someone. Read a book. Read literature. Pray. Drink some herbal tea. Take a nap. Polish your toenails. Turn up the stereo and sing really loudly. Take a hot bath. Remember the 3 C's. Light a candle, meditate and pray, or just watch the flickering flame. Remember HP is in control of all situations, we are not. Know you have friends right here who know the pain you are in, and we love you, have been where you are, are praying for you.
I have been were you are. It's hard to stop because other people tell you too because you are worth more and you're hurting yourself. You already know that. Your anxiety level is rising and your anger and frustration seem unbearable. I understand. When I used to cut and burn, yes, it temporarily eased the pain that was going on inside, but you're right, the scars are there as a reminder. Do you have a good therapist? Do you have someone you can call? The flash of heat and goosebumps you feel when you cut are temporary. Practice your coping skills. Remember, the alcoholic/addict uses when they can't cope. You are here and reaching out. YOU CAN COPE!!! We are here for you!
Cutting is not the way to releases that pain. You have come way too far and are way tooooo important to YOU., to let your self think of that as a quick fix. Let Loving your self be the fix. Let Alanon have that stress your building up. Let HP raise it above you. Woooosh. To let it Go. Let others that love and care about you be your release. Let us Help you release the building up.... before it gets to picking up something sharp. Pick up something more on the edge; YOUR HP
You know Your Self has determined cutting is to not THE quick fix for any sort of stress you may be experiencing.
You are such a special kind and loving person. (((I mean it!)))...TALK .. to US & Talk to Your Sponsor! ((( Only Love to You, NY )))
hi, sweetie, part of detaching is finding your own passions and going for them. For me, taking care of me is a big part of detaching.
Would you want your a telling you what you can and cannot do? I sure would hate it. I would hate anyone being that involved in my life. There is that Kahil Gibran thing that says a marriage or union of two people is like two pillars holding up the same weight,sharing, yet being two very separate entities.
We cannot stop a river, so why try? We cannot stop anyone from doing anything they choose to do. So why try? For me, if I cannot accept someone for who they are and get all upset by what they do, then I better not be around them. So since I love them, I stop focusing on them, allow them to be them and take care of me.
I know the pain and I remember the feeling of wanting to cut. For me it was not loving me. What do you need? What do you really want for YOU?
Sorry you have a cold, how miserable. Please remember you aren't going to feel as strong as you might be when you are sick.
I care about you, please focus on you, find reasons to love you. There is no one anywhere nor at anytime who has been like you. You are unique and worth loving you.
"Getting Them Sober" do you have this book?? It would help ya.
I am with an A at this time. I was also with an A app.14 yrs ago for about 7 and a half years. I was in my twenties, hurting and going crazy in my sickness..getting highly upset and doing everything in my desperation to get him to understand the hell he was inflicting on me/us. Unfortunately one of those nights involved my hysterical crying,a steak knife in one hand and two (what used to be) clean forearms for cutting 'the pain away'. On everything I honor,respect and cherish...the shame of looking at my arms hurts tremendously to this day.Yes, the scars NEVER leave. Unfortunately, by the time you allow maturity and your higher power help heal from certain amounts of pain, those damned scars remain a shameful reminder. I can't count how many people have taken second looks at my arms. I can't count how many times I've cringed on the inside being forced to relive such self inflicted horror.
If I could I would be on my knees with your hands in mine begging you to never,never hurt yourself again,darling..I would. It is bad enough that we have to suffer going through how we allow others affect us...never mind irreparable damage from our own hands.
I never cut again after my moment.It was very ugly for I could not stop and my arms ended up looking shredded. This is the risk one takes trying to douse amounts of pain.When the pain increases..the only way to cope(for a cutter) is to inflict a greater degree of punishment.
You keep coming here.These people are nothing but a God send in their wisdom,words of love and empathy.
Nycbt: I am so sorry to hear this triggered a lot of pain for you. I can imagine you are in fear. I think it is hard sometimes to get out of fear once you are in it. Fear and panic are really hard for me to deal with. I know when I am in panic and in pain that I sometimes need to ask for help. If I am in a real crisis I will call a crisisline. Have you ever done that. You could call a suicide line and speak to them and ask them to help you calm down. I know it is not always possible to get someone online or in person on the phone but you can use some resources that are open to you. I don't think there is anything wrong with being in crisis. Personally I have had many many crises over the A. I have felt really on the brink of tremendous anxiety and pain over some of his actions. I have had to ask for help then. These days I am not having crises but I do not rule out that I will have them again. I try to have resources open to me. When I was feeling particularly bad I went to see a counselor for a while. That helped. I think these days I may now stay in therapy for some time in order to work through some issues that have been up for me for a while.
I know how much work you have done on yourself and how much time and energy you put into your program you can make it through this time because you deserve to and you deserve to allow yourself to call for help if you encounter times when the pain is very bad for you. Please get the number of the suicide prevention line so that if you feel the urge to cut you can call them and at least try to talk to someone before you cut next time.
