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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A (boyfriend) is working the program in AA and has had some success, though when he slips it seems to get worse. Anyway, he also has had an addiction to Adderal in the past. He is STILL taking it, insisting that he needs it for his ADD, but last month, despite the fact he wasn't drinking, he abused the Adderal pretty badly (90 pills in 9 days...should have lasted 30). I told him that I was tempted to call his psychiatrist (who I call his dealer, as he goes to see him for 5 minutes at a time to get his refill...they never have an actual appointment in which my A can discuss his issues) and inform him that he was abusing the pills. My A told me he didn't want to be a slave to Adderal and was intending to use them as prescribed. He told me he thought I SHOULD call his doctor, should he slip again. So his idea was to leave the pills in a drawer with the rest of our meds. Last night, I saw that the pills were gone and I just don't know what to do at this point. Seriously, he takes so many of them that we have to change the sheets nightly because of his sweats, and he is up for 4 days straight with NO sleep, then sleeps for days on end. It's a bad scene. I'm scared he will die.
But there's a part of me saying, Let it go...it's not my thing. But, if I established this boundary with him while he was healthy, shouldn't I follow through? I don't know if I should call his doctor or not (okay...and I'm totally jumping the gun here...I haven't seen that he's taken too many pills, but I've been through this too many times to be optimistic that he just happened to take that bottle ONLY out of the pill drawer).
Do I say something to him? Do I say something to his doctor? Do I stay out of it and hope he doesn't die in my bed?
He told me he thought I SHOULD call his doctor, should he slip again.
Even if you did call your A's Dr., he would eventually find another way to get his pills. If he truly wanted help HE WOULD find it. It's not up to you, it is his to deal with. Sometimes when we interfere it keeps the A from hitting his bottom. For most, bottom has to be hit before they can see thier way up. Otherwise denial just takes over and they reason away what they are doing to themselves. He will tell you anything to keep his addiction going.
Listen to that part of you that you said says "Let go, it's not my thing" Being alone in their addiction can be a pretty lonely place. When there is no one to BS anymore the only place to look is at the person in the mirror. Try not to get sucked in and remember those 3 C's.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Hi Stacy. I'm not sure I have an answer or even good advice. The only thing I can say is think about what you need. If the opportunity presents itself and he is sober, you may tell him you are very concerned because you noticed the pill bottle was gone, but then he might come at you with "why are you checking up me?". This really is a no win situation. Even if he admits to taking the pills, then what. Christy is right they have to hit their bottom--not the bottom we think they should hit. Even if this was enough to put him into treatment you wouldn't really know if he was going for you or for him and if it isn't 100% totally his idea chances are it won't be successful in the long run!!
I do wish you luck!!! I hope you can find a way to handle this that is comfortable and right for you. Take care of yourself!!!
Glad that you came here to post. Some situations are life and death. It is scarey how many pills he took. Sometimes it not clear when to intervene and when it is enabling. I try to meditate and hear my HP's advice. Hope your answers come to you.
