Very. very. very new. - Al-Anon Family Group

kspear · Veteran Member

Very. very. very new.

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Karen. One thing I want to share with you right away being new at this is you will have your program and your son will have his life, whether it be drunk or sober! 2 seperate things! Keep coming back and join us for chat and meetings right here.

Josey

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello K , we have a chat room that may interest you, lots of moms there because of thier children. I hope your thinking of trying al anon meetings again they will help alot. I know u know what to do but with a kid it's so much harder.

detach , let go , live and let live just don't seem to cut it when it's a child , but they do work. You will feel so much better when u get a handle on the detach with love and to let them go to grow up . Hope to meet u in chat one day Louise

mebjk · Senior Member

Hello, Karen,
We're so glad you have found us! And we can really relate to your suffering. Thank you for joining us.
In my regular face to face meeting, quite a few of the people are in more than one 12 step program. Some of the issues seem to be the same and some seem to be different. I guess your HP knows best! It might be good to find a sponsor who will guide you through the 12 steps from your Alanon perspective.
Blessings to you as you make your way!
mebjk

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Karen. We all need to be in a 12 step program. It seems to give reason and structure to our lives. I come to Alanon because of my alcoholic upbringing, my sober A husband, and now it seems that my son has his own issues. I am learning to keep the focus on myself. I still don't have all the answers but I know that I am a much better person today. Keep coming back it works if you work it.

In support,

Nancy

kspear · Veteran Member

Thank you to everyone who wrote. It's funny how I stumbled upon this list when I did. My son told me once again how it's all my fault he turned out the way he did. (He LOVES to pull the guilt strings.) I went outside to give myself a few minutes before responding to him and in the back of my mind, I remembered the one thing I took away with me from that first Al-Anon meeting - the 3 C's. I could only remember one of them, though, but thankfully it was the one that applied - I didn't cause it. I walked back in the house and thanked him for the flattery that he believed I was so incredibly powerful, but also let him know that truly I am not powerful enough to cause anyone's behavior.

My other kids hear from me all the time, "Someone else's bad behavior is no excuse for my bad behavior." (They can quote me and usually chime in about midway through!)

Anyhow, it was after that conversation with my son that I realized I need to do something for me. I'm tired of feeling like I am being held hostage by him. I'm tired of feeling like I need to hide in my room to avoid him. I want to take back my house! Let the girls and myself LIVE there again. And I remembered Al-Anon. Being new to the area I'm living in, I haven't found Al-Anon yet (seems like it should be so easy since I found AA here okay - but they keep it fairly separate, I guess, which is waaaaay different for me). So I looked online and happened to bump into you guys.

Thanks SOOOO much for being here !!

Karen S.

peewee · Senior Member

Karen. so glad you came here. I look forward to seeing you in chat room and meetings here. I know exactly how you feel ..hostage in own house by son. It will and does get better when you work the program. And with hp's help, anything can happen for the better, sometimes more pain first.....

MsPeewee

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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.