Al-Anon Family Group

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New here.
Post Info TOPIC: New here.
Iko


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New here.
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Hi there. I just went to my first Al-Anon meeting on Saturday.  Even just  BEING there seemed to allow me to let out a big sigh and relax for a few minutes.


My dh is an active alcoholic.  He's the kind that justifies his drinking because he only drinks on weekends and then it's because he feels he 'deserves it'.  He has been much worse in the past.  But as I know, the 'weekend' will start to include wednesdays, tuesdays, and Mondays (it already includes thursdays).


I'm still not sure if I will end up staying. My heart tells me no. We have two small children and i need to be healthy in order to take care of them.  At this point I don't feel I can handle all of the crazymaking with the alcohol.


His parents know how I feel, and his dad is coming up this weekend to talk with him. 


I feel so worn out and beaten down, emotionally, by all of this. I just am not sure where to start. I mean, I'm attending Al-anon, but what else? Should I start to read? Should I wait for a sponsor? Should I just breathe? lol.....



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Juster


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Iko:  Welcome.  I am new here also and therefore probably not the best one to give advise.  I am sure that the veteran members will help you with that.  I am happy that you are able to make it to Alanon meetings.  My schedule doesn't allow it as much as I would like to.  This board is large help to me and I hope it will be for you also.  The amount of support I have received in such a small time has been wonderful.  Best wishes,  Juster

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Juster
hudsond


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Yes, Yes, and yes.  Yes start to read--some great books are the "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews or Toby Drew Rice (I forget the order of the name) and then the "Courage for Today" book.  Getting a sponsor is also a great idea.  I personally do not have one, but know that the encouragement and guidance they offer will help you greatly!!!! I have found that breathing is always a good thing!


Keep coming back!!!


Dawn


 



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bubbles1990


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(((((((IKO)))))))))) Just relax sweetie and yes do breathe.....

Welcome to our Family!!

Awesome that you are going to meetings that is a HUGE step in recovery!!!!

Take your time in finding a sponsor go to meetings and listen to other womens stories and after awhile you will be able to make a better decision to who you would like to have as to be your sponsor!!!

I would Highly recomand you read the book" Courage to Change" the daily reading really help me through till I could find a sponsor I also worked the steps and did them slowly and journaled alot!!!

My hugs are with you sweet heart just take one day at a time and keep the focus on you!!!!


I hope I helped you some!!!

Love ya Bubbles123


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bubbles123
Iko


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Thank you for the welcomes.  Every one's input counts.  I wanted to buy the book 'courage to change' by the end of the meeting but didn't have the $$ on hand, so i'll get it this week when I go to the meeting by me.


Do I ask someone to sponsor me or do they offer to sponsor me?  I feel like i'm dipping my toes into a VERY big lake.


This forum was kindly referred to me and just reading the posts have been helpful.  Do a lot of people use the online meetings and chats?


Thanks again for the help!



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jrtjosey


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Welcome! You can never get enough information about this disease.  Please remember Alanon is about you!!! and you living a healthy life.  Keep coming back and please join us in chat or for meetings by clicking the link in theupper left corner of this page.  We are always happy to "see" a new face!


Josey



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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Ria


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Just wanted to say 'hi' and welcome you to both the fellowship and M.I.P. Yes, breathing is definitely a good place to start. I'd recommend you read, especially the Al-anon Conference Approved Literature. If you haven't got a great deal of money there are usually many inexpensive leaflets available at the meetings, ask the Literature Secretary if you're not sure about anything. In the UK some of our meetings offer newcomers a welcome pack with some basic literature/info in it and some have small 'lending libraries'. The 'One Day At A Time' and 'Courage To Change' daily readers are an absolute investment in my humble opinion!


As far as I'm aware, generally you ask someone to sponsor you though I have heard of instances when sponsors offered their services. Attend several meetings, listen to shares and see if there is someone who you feel you can relate to/identify with. Preferably, they should be regularly attending meetings themselves and working a program, the 12steps. There are other postings on the message-board about sponsorship.


It was suggested to me not to make any major decisions in the 1st six-twelve months of my recovery as so much can change when we start working a program. Recovery is a journey and takes time. If there is anything you don't understand, please don't be afraid to ask! Keep coming back and I'm sure you'll soon feel the love, healing and support of the fellowship 



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To thine own self be true.
abbyal


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Hello Iko ,welcome = If i were to suggest anything it would be the first daily reader ODAT small blue daily reader. helps to change your thinking to more positive and suggestions on how to change your life . A detachment pamphlet is a must and our book How Al-Anon works will tell u all u need to know for now.  keep going to meetings and try and not make any life altering decissions for at least 6 months ( as long as your physically safe )  oYou may find that with the help of this program u are able to stay or u will know it's time to go.  either way u will make an more informed decission after six months in our program .  


Good luck   Louise



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I came- I came to-I came to be
nycbt


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.


 



            Phone number is 1-888-425-2666


Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.



  • Go face to face meeting

  • online meeting.

  • post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

·        Set up a support system. People that I can call that have helped me through good an bad times. These people do not judge me, which is very important.



  • Have a sponsor. Someone that I work one on one with.


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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
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