The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I thought I would put a message out to the universe to get it off my chest and to HP. From there it is not mine anymore...
Dear XABF,
I was thinking of you and I hope you got your three-month chip today. I know 2015 has been a challenging year, but I hope you are gaining ground. I know you have struggled and I know you have been pretty hard on yourself. I just hope that one day you can get back to that happier, healthier man (maroon) I fell in love with in 2014.
Seems like only yesterday when you got a three month chip when I first knew you. I had no idea what it really meant. I just remember we were at the boss' house celebrating his birthday and mine. I do know that three-month chip lead to six, and to a year. I hope you can get back there again. Oddly enough, all the dates are in my head...if 2015 hadn't been the mess it was, you might have been getting 2 years on Dec 1. But no point thinking about what ifs or what could have beens. All that matters is where you are at today...and even that matters not to me. It is yours for you. I just hope you made it because I knew how desperate you were to get back to recovery.
I'm sorry things ended up where they did with us. Like I said before, when it was good, it was fantastic and when it was bad, it was terrible. I am still working through my anger and resentment. That will take time but that is on me. I do miss you though, and part of me wishes you will reach out. I also know that it is better for both of us if you don't. The damage has been done, and I don't think we could ever go to the "love in the deli" we once had.
I hope you are well out there in this big world and that your today is everything you want it to be. Xo Bug
