The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Did you just pickup the phone and say hello? Go for coffee? email/IM? What do you do once you decide who you would like for a sponsor? What did you first discuss, etc? How did you get started?
The first person I asked, I asked on the phone. This person felt they were not ready to be a sponsor yet, but was very loving in telling me no, and I had just enough al-anon under my belt not to take it personally!!
The next person I asked (who is my current sponsor) I asked after a ftf meeting.
What you will do is up to you and your sponsor. The first thing my sponsor did with me was assign me some reading from CAL literature (Al-anon's 12 steps and 12 traditions), then we got together at a later date and discussed it.
Hope this helps, and good luck finding a sponsor!!! I started getting so much more out of this program once I had a sponsor.
Dear Barbara, I'm so glad you asked this question. One of the things that seems to be missing from the program online is sponsorship and working the steps, and those are so basic to the program. I have had two great sponsors over the years. The first one, my HP found. I was standing in front of her after a face to face meeting and a voice in my head said: "The good mother." She was a good mother to me through working the steps. The second time, I needed a sponsor quickly and a friend gave me the number of an alanon friend. This sponsor is also a great woman with lots of years in the program and lots of spiritual depth. I am so grateful. Usually, a person shares their hardest problems with their sponsor, not in meetings. While we have to get the negative stuff out, that is not the heart of the program. The Steps are. At meetings, more experience strength and hope are shared. And the sponsor can help you decide how to work the steps. How you do that can vary so much between you and the sponsor you choose, what their experience is, and how the two of you work together. This time, I am much more into making decisions myself about how I want to work the steps, although my sponsor has pushed me to move faster sometimes, since I have a tendency to be "perfect," which is a character defect! If you ask someone and they say no, keep trying. And don't forget to ask your HP to find someone for you! Good luck! Blessings mebjk
I think this is a question one should ask in person. Yes, you can suggest lunch together or just a Starbucks...but make it a place with a bit of privacy so the two of you can discuss freely. Important decisions such as this one should never be handled in email, IM, phone, or any other impersonal means of conversation. I wish you all good luck, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
