The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am needing to talk this out, get it out of my head, invite opinion and maybe vent a little!
One of the topics at this mornings meeting here got me thinking about this conversation again .....Al-Anon friends.
A lot of my frustrations and questions were taken care of during the shares at the meeting here this morning. It was great.
A short version of the history of the f2f I am starting here. There is no other meeting within 60 miles of us, so am starting one.
There is an AA group that meets at my church so I thought that would be the logical place to start. I asked if I could use the room to also have the Al-Anon meeting in, different night of course. The pastor said he didn't think it would be a problem, if fact he thought it would be a good idea, he even said it could be a big ministry for us, but he had to go to the board for final approval. Ok, thought all was good. NOT! The board refused us saying they didn't think it was a good idea to go to far in one direction with any one ministry, so no meeting room there. Which I thought was totally unfair, but whatever. I am still nursing hurt feelings over that one,we are important too after all, but am working through it.
I decided to look further for a room. Had no problem at all finding one.....or so I thought...lol.The local drug and alcohol treatment center agreed to let me use their room. Well to make a long story short, the first meeting the lady was 1/2 hour late opening the door for us, and the second week, despite me calling to remind them the day before, no one showed up to open the door and I ended up just going back home.
I was determined to find somewhere else, and I do have a meeting to see the administrator Friday for a room in the hospital. He seems really receptive, in fact enthusiastic. Won't even charge us for using the room.
Well here is where a conversation I had comes in. I told a person from church about all this and they said to me "seems to me like maybe God is telling you that you need to work though all this with only Him, you probably shouldn't be trying to get a meeting together. Rely on Him.
Well, I had prayed to my HP, whom I call God at every step of the way during this. It never entered my mind that God didn't want me to start a f2f, in fact I feel He is guiding me. This person made me feel selfish and like i was not trusting God for my recovery. And I know I am. She was the "first to admit she has never lived with an A" but just saying it as she was seeing it. I felt so judged. UUGH
Well, as for how I see it, I didn't start healing until God brought me to Al-Anon. He is not telling me to stop trying to find a place suitable to meet, He is encouraging me. And He knows how important support is for all of us that live daily with addicts in our lives.
It was not until I found Miracles In Progress that I found out how important support is and how it helps our healing and recovery. I will build on what I found here. Never mind what another person is yammering to me. I am listening to HP. I'm going for it!
Maybe this little anticdote will help you to trust your HP more than the humans who are not aware of what you/we deal with on a daily basis and how much help this program is.
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My Uncle was a Baptist minister and had been for years. Was very sure that he was a channel for God to talk directly to us. He died about 6 years ago of a heart attack... in his mistris's bed.
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Humans are human and someone elses interpretation of your relationship with your HP is not valid. Only you can do that.
Keep doing what you feel is right for you.
Take care!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Grr! Religion is such a tricky thing. I think the way HP is used in this situation is extremely beneficial, but I think people take the wrong road with it a lot. They use it to judge and feel superior, which is the last thing the teachings are about. I am sorry you are having such trouble putting together a f2f. But I really admire you for all that you have pulled through and still are determined. For when you have that, not only will it be helpful to you, it will be helpful to others. I can't see any God having a problem with that! I believe it is just that you haven't hit upon the right place yet. You will. Chin up.
Rachel
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**Everyone is doing the best they can from day to day**
You are always going to find people with different opinions. Every person has a different interpretation of God's will. You have to follow your heart and your mind. Only you know what God is telling you.
Sometimes locked doors and forgotten times are not God's will, and have nothing to do with God, they are just one persons irresponsibility. So try another person. If I forget my key to my house, it does not mean that God doesn't want me in there. It just means I have to climb in the window. Maybe God was telling me to be more responsible the next time and remember to take my key.
You are doing HP's footwork and HP and you are searching for the "perfect" place. Nevermind what one person's opinion is that has no idea what the families of alcoholics live with. To that person I would have said that my HP has never turned his back on my needs and that we are working together. But I'm an ornery lil *****...lol
You just keep it up doxie, let your HP guide you. Who knows? Maybe some would feel uncomfortable attending meetings at the same church their A goes to or have their unattending A find out, or be too embarrassed to be seen walking in to a treatment center. Now a hospital...You could be going there for many reasons, a check up, to visit a friend etc. It's perfect!!!! One of my meetings is in a hospital too :)
I really hope the hospital works out for you..
love, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I am new to the forums boards the last couple weeks and really feel good about it so far.
Haven't started a post yet but have responded in a couple others a few xs. I am new to some of the terms and am not sure what f2f means. I use to go to many meetings yrs back and am trying to come back.
I'd like to say something , but would like to be certain what f2f is instead of assuming.
Hope you don't mind the delay. So, hope to hear back.
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
Please do not let one person discourage you from your plans. Keep your eye on the prize. I recall all you went through and you felt the need for this face to face. Like you said listen to your HP (God) and go for it. You are worth it~ wishes, tea
Doxie, my fondest wishes are that you find just the right place for your meeting. Look at it this way. HP is leading you to the right place, and you WILL find it. A religious zealot who judges and makes remarks as if she has a direct pipeline to God's thoughts is no one to whom you should attach any importance. There is nothing more annyoing in the world than a religious "expert" who "knows" God's every thought.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and trust that the path you take will lead to the perfect meeting place. As for the places that did not work out, I am a believer in the adage, "It was not meant to be."
With caring, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
This is an impressive place. I'm so blessed to be witness to the power at
work here. Starting new things on that level takes nice gifts. You got em.
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
Don't give up on your meetings......some people mean well, but just can't understand. Unfortunately, some Christians think they know more and are quick to give advice. I'm sure I've been guilty of "giving advice" too...... The Bible says to be slow to speak, slow to anger and quick to listen. God definitely put this in your heart and will see you through all the obstacles. His timing is perfect! We know that life isn't all roses....there are some thorns that snag,scratch and cause pain, but we keep going. The snags and thorns may slow us down a bit, but God keeps us strong and moving forward. God knows the desires of your heart. You aren't doing this for selfish reasons, you want to help others as you have been helped and supported. Stay strong and trust God.......
Doxie, I commend you on your quest to start an Al Anon meeting near you. Good girl! Now then we come to the religious zealot who wants to dampen your enthusiasm. There is nothing more annoying than one of these self-righteous people who thinks he/she has a direct pipeline to God's innermost thoughts. Do not clutter your mind with her ramblings. They mean nothing! Instead remember that your HP is leading you to the perfect place. Maybe you haven't found it yet, but you will. Remember, "what was meant to be will be." Try not to be hurt. All will end well.
With caring, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Before you wonder, Doxie, why there are two posts from me before this one....I didn't think the other one made it, and did not take the time to look to see...DUH!!! Oh well, they both carry essentially the same message, and I believe that message to be a good one. Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I think what you are doing is wonderful. My thought was that maybe HP has a better place for you, but by your going to all these different places that these individuals will know who to call when they have someone in need of Al-anon. You will be the person that comes to mind. You may down the line get calls from them saying did you ever get a group going? I have a feeling your answer will be yes and the group will grow.
I like this poem, it helps me. The story behind it is an individual inquired of a friend what God's will might be for his life. The person handed him a rose and asked him to unfold it without causing it harm, while he tried unsuccessfully, his friend recited this poem.
Unfolding the Rosebud
It is only a tiny rosebud, A flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers Is not known to such as I. God opens this flower so sweetly, When in my hands they fade and die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud. This flower of God's design, Then how can I think I have wisdom To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Him for His leading Each moment of every day. I will look to Him for His guidance Each step of the pilgrim way.
The pathway that lies before me, Only my heavenly Father knows. I'll trust Him to unfold the moments, Just as He unfolds the rose.
(((DOXIE)) I am supporting you through prayer 110%! It is never wrong to want to help others. You are doing the right thing. I willl pray for You and your finding that "Special Place." Your such a Blessing.
You said yourself this "person" nvr lived with an A, how could they know what we go through? Furthermore, in chat (I too have been hurt & attacked) we must remember to let it roll off our backs... ppl here are hurt, sometimes so much so they hurt back, this is the cycle of abuse.
Everyone in open chat are influenced byt heir different moods that moment, are at different stages in their recoveries & work the Program slightly differently than everyone else, all of us having our own perceptions, levels of abuse & spiritual experiences with HP.
Please do not let anyone else's negativity upset you. As Einstein said, "Listen not to criticisms or accolades both take you off your path."
God Bless & hope this helps, love, -Kitty of Light
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Just do it! To heck with what other insensitive people think. When the time and place are right, you'll know. Trust you HP to guide you. You can do this, I have great faith in you.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Instead of thinking "God is telling you that you need to work though all this with only Him...", maybe you could look it as God is only entrusting the meeting to someone who is fully dedicated. If it happens too easy, how have you shown to Him that your heart is truly in it? Also, we tend to have greater appreciation for those things we accomplish that require hard work and obstacles to overcome.
Doxie, Remember what someone said in chat the other night....What others think of YOU is none of your business. You KNOW your needs and those of others in your area. I hope to hear that the hospital room works out, but if not that one, another. Keep at it. You are doing a wonderful service. I am not one to mince words, as you may know.
I wish to add was if you have ever seen the movie "Field Of Dreams" In it Kevin Costner's character wishes to build a baseball field, because he was guided to. He felt the need. He was told "If you build it -they will come" The others were skeptical -doubtful, they didn't understand etc.. He stuck to it and in the end, they came and it was a huge success.
This is an impressive place. I'm so blessed to be witness to the power at
The Bible says to be slow to speak, slow to anger and quick to listen. God definitely put this in your heart and will see you through all the obstacles. His timing is perfect! We know that life isn't all roses....there are some thorns that snag,scratch and cause pain, but we keep going. The snags and thorns may slow us down a bit, but God keeps us strong and moving forward. God knows the desires of your heart. You aren't doing this for selfish reasons, you want to help others as you have been helped and supported. Stay strong and trust God.......
110%! It is never wrong to want to help others. You are doing the right thing. I willl pray for You and your finding that "Special Place." Your such a Blessing.