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Well another weekend without police involved in my life is a good thing if you don't count the kids and I went out to dinner and wound up being an extremely expensive dinner to the tune of 297$. Poor little waitress ringing us out spoke no English we went for Mexican that night, one of my favorite customers the manager is very funny. She hit one extra digit to ring us out. However, the oops meant an awkward moment. LOL .. umm see I have 4 dollars cash on me so how many dishes do I need to wash? LOL!? Well there's me being very calm and I think that was because I get it .. it was an accident and it was very fixable, I sure wasn't paying for dinner that night in the sense of no way to get funds. At least it was fixable and nothing else was coming out that night .. LOL! Thankfully. Anyway, I took care of it the next day and all was well. It made for a good laugh that night and the next day. My poor kids were freaking out because I wasn't apparently we get to the car and my daughter says ok .. I'm ready to go home and be sick. Me .. you can't be sick .. I paid a LOT of money for that meal!! LOL. It did mess up our plans for the rest of the night however it is what it is and honestly it wasn't a big deal. My daughter says mom .. I couldn't figure out what was going on because you were so incredibly calm and I didn't understand .. LOL. I told her honey what good is me going off on that poor waitress who already was being dressed down by the manager (I do like this guy I didn't like how he spoke to her even though I didn't understand totally what was said, I know enough Spanish to be dangerous .. lol). My flipping out only made it a more uncomfortable situation for everyone and it's not like it wasn't fixed in the end .. everyone was very understanding behind us and again .. what good is it for me to rage? She thought about it and said well that makes sense just next time could you just say everything is ok? LOL! Umm me being calm is everything is ok .. LOL. I started laughing and said .. good night child what will happen if I'm pulled over and you are in the car with me and I'm joking with the cop? LOL? She says oh Lord Mom .. please stop I can't take it! Seriously by the time we got home I was crying laughing.
This is my son's birthday weekend, we had a blast and it's so awesome when my HP works things out. We wound up at a roller derby which was a blast, my boss had tickets he couldn't use. I was sooo grateful for it! Today we are having his party. Last night I had 4 boys with me and we just had a great time. It was so much fun. I'm listening to them play down stairs at the moment. I think he's going to have a good birthday.
The kids did see their dad on Saturday. I'm telling you these people are so flipping clueless and speak without thinking which tells me they are a match made in heaven. So I hear from the kids oh NW (New Wife) is upset because she hasn't seen their dad since last Sunday. SERIOUSLY?! Well gee, the kids haven't seen their dad for 2 weeks with no phone calls and maybe one text and it wasn't about how are you. It was about working at a clothing shop where the NW shops so she can get a discount. OMGOSH .. YES I saw red over that one until I realized these people are THAT STUPID! SOOO not my problem .. I did look at my daughter and say .. umm .. your dad wants you to work at a shop so his B can get YOUR discount??? SERIOUSLY!? My daughter started laughing and said this is why I waited to tell you about that interchange .. LMAO .. I KNEW you would go through the roof. I laughed and said you know me so well and I"m sorry however REAAALLY? How is she getting to her "job"? AGAIN .. he is THAT inconsiderate and it's only about him. I got a raised eyebrow from my daughter and she laughed saying I know mom. At least it's worth a laugh and a mention in my book.
They had a good time so that's where my focus is and I got some peace before the boys descended and I forgot to mention I have 2 teen girls here as well we have a packed house!!
Anyway, sooo looking forward to the rest of the day. Funny story (I'm full of them) I leave my house with headphones and iPod locked and loaded, I get very rare times where I can just zone out shopping food or whatever is one of them .. I must wear some kind of look .. oh yes a SMILE .. I forgot I had one of those until my XAH left. I'm so glad I found it again .. anyway, I'm laughing because I guess I should just give up on the headphones my life never works out that way I'm so grateful that the God of my understanding just has a wicked sense of humor. PS the next man who calls me sweetheart I'm going to be as bold as you wanna be and just say at least ask me out first! LOL!! I'm on a roll lately .. LOL! Anyway, I have more people stop me to talk than I know what to do with and I laugh, just go with it is what I always say you never know who you'll meet. My music is one way I am able to decompress and I have some very guilty pleasures, .. I love techno, as well as old school rap, throw in some Eminem (I love his talent not the message, you can't argue the boy can rap), when I'm really feeling it I love punk. Anyway, I seriously must look like trouble during some of those songs. LOL!
My Friday night connection .. sigh .. very married and I respect that however good grief .. can I clone him so I can have someone like that to talk to on the phone? Sigh this has been such a great lesson in what I want from a relationship. This is so much of what Alanon has given back to me .. yes I"m the responsible parent .. however I'm an over grown teenager who happens to have hormone flaring for various reasons. It has been soooooo much fun .. I do feel as if I'm from outer space. That's way ok. I have to have that side of me to nurture because I skipped it completely and totally when I should have been doing the things I"m doing now I was married the first time and then dated however went back into a serious relationship with the current XAH. Now this time is for me and I'm a mini tornado at the moment .. LOL.
I'm trying to find that balance. Which by the way there was a great read in How Alanon Works that chapter that page 97 is on .. that is a great chapter to read for those struggling with the issues of communicating, listening and so on .. it's a really good read. I don't know if you all have heard of Father Tom if you get a chance to hear some of his tapes this is who is coming to our spring convention .,. I call it a spring fling .. LOL!
Anyway, have a lovely weekend!!
S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Do you know the best part of this is I have so much more energy now and even though I'm still dealing with court, and I'm not sorry that I am, it's a different level of stress it's just not so intense. Now .. is it to much to ask to come home after working all day to a clean house and someone to rub my feet!? I am not as angry .. oh I still get angry, frustrated and so on. It goes along the lines of if you say you are a Christian you aren't suppose to say you have daily problems .. that's not how that works .. I am healing in Alanon it doesn't mean I don't feel appropriate emotions given the situation .. now I choose to handle them differently .. LOL. Well, I choose to handle them instead of them handling me.
Oh yes, I still get tired too .. LOL! Things are moving forward in a positive way and that's all that matters to me.
That whole you get back what you put out though is awesome because it's totally true. I listen to others complain and I do from time to time fuss about something .. lol .. the reality is life isn't horrible, even court isn't horrible. I've actually managed to meet some very nice people. I can tell I'm still freaked out over the idea of meeting someone in a dating/romantic way and I've crossed a few signals not on purpose it's just because my energy is intense at the moment and all over the board so I'm sending out some wonky vibes. So I'm trying to comb those down. I don't feel so prickly though.
I can see how much I've grown through the kids though .. they are so much lighter. Although my little monkey man is just as intense as I was as a kid. Bless his soul because that's a hard lesson to walk, I guess that's why I'm his mom as I've been there done that and I watch him process through by giving him what I needed to have at the time which was acceptance and space. I did not get those as a kid. It's interesting to watch him because he processes through things much quicker than I ever did and we move on from there.
Anyway, I am praying about some things I would like to text the XAH for courtesy purposes. I will respect him that much and that is all. I'm not engaging him further. It's so funny/ironic .. well the kids don't want to deal with him without the new wife there and the codependency level is so huge between them he hasn't been alone with the kids since December. How odd to me. It's not my issue just an interesting observation.
S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
