The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Great topic in the Courage to Change today. It speaks about being confused over what are our responsibilities and what is another's.
It states that we are responsible to be;
Loyal to our values, to please ourselves first; to keep an open mind; to detach with love; to rid ourselves of anger and resentment; to express our ideas and feelings, instead of stuffing them; to attend Al-Anon meetings and to keep in touch with friends in the fellowship; to be realistic in my expectations; to make healthy choices and to be grateful for my blessings.
The reading goes on to reaffirm our responsibilities to others;
To welcome a newcomer and to be of service; to recognize that others have a right to live their own lives; to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart; and to share my joy as well as my sorrow.
We are not responsible for our loved ones choices, drinking, sobriety, job, cleanliness, diet, or other choices. It is my responsibility to treat this person with courtesy gentleness of love so that we can both grow.
The quote is; "I have a primary responsibility to myself, to make myself into the best person I can possibly be. Then, and only then, will I have something worthwhile to share."
I particularly love this page and have earmarked and underlined it in several places. I appreciated how it defined my responsibilities to myself and others and clearly noted what was not my responsibility. I agree completely with everything that is written and have seen the rewards of acting with this discipline.
It's a challenge for me to treat others with courtesy when they appear to be in the midst of the disease. The idea of detachment for me seems to be try to remember that it's not a personal attack, and that I'm not responsible for changing another, even if others think it is my job to do so. Thanks Betty and everyone else for your esh on this topic.
