The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading is about how we ourselves contributed to the destruction in our homes. It says 'this was no vacuum we were living in' it wasnt only the alcoholic who caused damage, we reacted to and made things worse. It talks about how it can be difficult to face our own shortcomings but its easier to do this in alanon together, with others who have also faced their own shortcomings and mistakes.
For me, i was surprised when i realised from my first meeting, this wasnt going to be a place where i could pour out my woes and blame everything on the alcoholic and get a nice pat on the back. This was a place that was going to lift me from the victim, martyr roles i was playing like an expert. From day one my self pity began to stop and it was because at my first meeting i was given warm hugs, kind words of understanding as well as a much needed kick up the backside. I was told simply, this is where the pity party stops. Genuis, and i knew they were right. I wasnt a hopeless, innocent victim with no choices, like a prisoner or a baby. I was a grown woman who could, should and would take control of my own life and thats what i did. I took my feelings, happiness, security out of the hands of the alcoholics in my life and took responsibility for myself. I could never have done this without alanon. I was on track to live out my whole life a miserable wretch stuck in child mode. Im such a grateful member of alanon, it really did save my life and it wasnt with tea and sympathy, it was hard core facts that can be difficult to swallow at first.
Can't fix the alcoholic. WE are there for us. From the first meeting I went to I knew there was a difference than in the other program. At the time it wasn't totally clear but I knew that eventually I would get it. Thanks el-cee for starting this thread. What is up? No one has commented yet. It is a good reading.
Great share elcee. I can so relate its tough getting your brain around that
You are there for you not the alcoholic. We need our own program For our
growth so we can change.
Its a long journey filled with good, bad and imperfect. I have had to face
So many truths and hurts. It takes time to think things thru and process
Them Also to Face your feelings and emotions.
My high point was handing my will over to God. That was so freeing, self
Will is so destructive. We want what we want and try to force solutions.
I know i tried to change my dry ah. It did no good especially after he started
AA. I thought my ideas were helpful. They were not appreciated or wanted.
We are in charge of us alone with Gods helping hand also with loving support
From groups such as Alanon to guide us to emotional and spiritual health.
