The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm like an old dresser with many many coats of paint. The paint was put there to protect the old dresser and to make it look pretty. It worked for many years, but the paint has begun to flake and peel off, so instead of putting on a new layer of paint, I've decided to take off all of the old. As I take off layer by latyer of old paint, I'm finding out things about the old dresser that I never knew existed, like intricate detailing of the wood. As I move to deeper levels of my program, I'm finding things about myself that I like. I'm a very caring and tender person. But when these characteristics turn into codependency, it's kind of like old paint that has yellowed. It's not pretty.
So as you work your program, be careful not to strip away good things about yourself. Slowly strip away the character defects, but protect those beautiful characteristics that make you the person you are.
I'm keeping it simple and taking one day at a time.
It works if you work it.
-- Edited by cloudyskies on Thursday 5th of February 2015 02:53:40 PM
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
I love this analogy. I HAVE an old dresser that I have been carting around for years. It's really special, it has lots of little drawers and intricate carvings. It also has many coats of crappy looking paint and it is very scratched and sad looking. I have wanted to do it up for many years but it will take a lot of effort, the right tools, precision work and patience to do properly. I will make sure I do it right because I value it and do not want to shave off important bits...I read this post and looked at the dresser and thought wow. That is an awesome way to look at myself and my "restoration" work.
Awesome post
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hey meliss. I love old furniture. You never know what a treasure you have until you take off the garbage. Al-Anon helps us with that. It shows us how to take away the garbage.
Good luck with your dresser. Send a pic when you finish redoing it. I'd love to see it.
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Accepting good things about myself and others has been a big part of the program for me. Al anons are not broken were are wonderful with a little too much paint or covering put on them! I like it!
Thanks you all. Sadly my dresser is going to take a life time of restoration, but that's ok as long as I don't give up on it. It's not where I want it to be yet, but thank God, it's not the ugly ole thing it used to be.
We are all a work in progress.
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Considering where I am at this moment, your post touched my heart.
Several years ago, I restored a cedar chest that belonged to my mother...many layers of paint were striped away to get down to the original wood. It is a beautiful piece of furniture and I could never figure out why someone would paint over that gorgeous wood with ugly brown paint.
After a recent reuniting with my Mom's family (after 50+yr) I have discovered the real story behind her death. She died as a result of the last beating that my father gave her while in a drunken rage. Now after all those years, I understand why Mom's family kept their distance which (for most of my life) was felt as an abandonment. I've never harbored any resentment toward them---just didn't understand WHY.
Stripping away the layer of the past has brought me closure.
