The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ODAT Reading for today Jan 20 is an extremely powerful page. I had to read and reread it several times before I could accept the principles that were offered. The entire meditation is about patience, and not reacting.
It points out the thought that I cannot hurt others without hurting myself. If I say something unkind in response to another, I may obtain a momentary release but like a" boomerang" this reaction of mine increases my own discomfort. Impatience with someone only generates their impatience with me.
It goes on to explain that impulsive criticism at an Al-Anon meeting can affect the unity of the group on which I depend for help.The reading urges us to learn to quiet our mind before we speak and to not to act with impatience or hostility.
The most important thought that I found was the suggestion that patience can be acquired "by learning to let go of self-will." That is a powerful thought!!!.
If at every time that I feel anxious or afraid or angry I turned inward and prayed to let go of my will, HP will supply the guidance and patience that I need not to react and the wisdom to respond appropriately .
The quote is from Jonathan Swift:" whoever is out of patience is out of possession of his soul. Men must not turn into B's who killed themselves in stinging others." I'm off to see my brother in the Bronx today.
I know intrinsically that this principle is true . I practice the concept daily and although I am far from perfect, find that it works when I work it.
Thank you, Betty. Being a work in progress - I have been both impatient and reactionary and patient and respondent. I prefer the latter and also know that isn't always going to be true for me in actual relationships with folks. Progress not perfection is a slogan that I remember often when I've caught myself practicing the not yet part of this spiritual discipline called the Al-Anon program. Giving up being impatient with myself and reacting with self-criticism and self-flagellation is also part of the spiritual discipline for me. It is better for me if I can laugh at the times I slip than shame myself for not being there yet. I'll never arrive there in this mortal state and I'm happy to keep on trying one day at a time to practice patience with myself and with others.
I love the reading and the shares. For the past few weeks, I have found myself to be in a reactionary place more often than I care to admit. Having the al anon tools helped to calm the inner storms and, there were times I just had to hang on and bite my sharp tongue. I made it through the turmoil without so much judgment of me or others (there was some, if I am honest), so I don't have the amends to make to me that I have had in the past. Shortly I will attend my meeting and further the place of peace I woke up with today (thankfully).
Thanks for sharing this. The message and the lesson taught is crystal clear, it's having the presence of mind to heed this wisdom.
Someone really should market ODAT in sticky note form so we can carry them around with us. Stick it on the fridge while cooking in the kitchen. Stick it on the dash of the car while driving, etc.
Many thanks Betty, I needed your share concerning patience. Took a few vacation days at the end of this week because I sensed that my patience level was very low and needed to have some quiet time. Your post was most appropriate for me!! Thank you!! xoxoxox
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thank you Betty ;) a prayer I often use is God help me to see this situation in another way. I used to think living around the disease of codeoendency and alcoholism was such a burden, some days I still see it that way, but I'm beginning to understand that it is a opportunity for my growth and to get closer to my hp. I also need to stay humble in that no matter how long I work my program I will always need alanon. Alanon arrests my codependency and I get a day by day repreival from it providing I practice all day. I am blessed in learning also that hurt people hurt people. I need to constantly remember that I am not the only one that has been injured by the disease and when someone lashes out at me it's about them not me. Thankyou again so much for your service ;) blessings
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I needed these behaviors in my past they helped me survive I'm finding new and better ways to not just survive but thrive
