The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i haven't been here in awhile, but I'd still been using the AlAnon tools. Looking after myself, not getting involved in anything that made the crazy-brain start, letting go. Usual stuff, and things were going well.
On Monday, my AH looked me in the face and said, 'I'm done. No more drinking.' I was shocked. I hadn't been berating him, or nagging, or anything. Not a peep. I'd heard this before, but, for some reason, this felt different. He was stone cold sober, and the look on his face was just...blunt, honest, and determined. I asked him why, and he said, 'It's just stupid. I don't feel good, it's a waste of money, and...I'm just done.' Huh. Simple as that.
Well, I don't know if it's a sign, or if the world has a weird sense of humor, but we just got back from the immediate care center because we thought he had a uti. He's been 100% true to his word. Not even a beer since Monday. But he has very mild pancreatitis. After reading about it (scary, scary stuff!) I kind of wonder if he just knew, or if his body just switched something off. If that's what's going on he's astronomically lucky that his case is so mild that we confused it for something else. Some of the people that describe having it talk about excruciating pain and being in the hospital for days. He just says his back is a bit sore, and he's annoyed that he can't drink more water for a day or two.
It's just so weird that he made that decision right before this happened. I can't get over the timing. Huh.
To me, SA, this story speaks loudly of the power of HP. I hope that "I'm done" is followed by he's done long-term. Regardless, I'm happy for him and for you that the pancreatitis is not causing him more trouble than it is now and that he hasn't picked up a drink for several days. I know a saying: "Wherever we go, the Spirit of HP goes, too." I do see that Spirit at work here. It is my prayer that AH continues to cooperate.
Hopefully the "I'm done is followed with entry into a program which can help him learn how to live without it completely and tools to help him during the compulsions. This is a disease I don't take mildly and I hope he doesn't either. Good for you Spider staying out of the craziness and surrendering the need to direct and control him. Prayers that his pancreatitis remains mild. (((hugs)))
