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I never did climb on DDH about his drinking back in the day, because he didn't do it very often for the longest time, and when he did, he was able to drive well enough to fool me, and he was very happy and wasn't abusive and I didn't realize for 14 years that he was an alcoholic. (Duh) A few times I did try to explain to him that if he spaced his drinks out more when there was a party, he wouldn't get drunk and wouldn't pass out after he took the baby sitter home (Grace and Mercy kept us safe, I think). And after awhile I realized it wasn't making any difference. I let him lie half on the landing and half on the stairs once and on the child's trampoline another time, but he usually made it to bed. One night he looked like he was going to pass out on the john and I called our big neighbor to come and get him and put him on the bed and he sobered up when he walked through the door.
And the year of heavy drinking, when his A boss told him to take our old refrigerator and put it in the garage to hold booze, he'd come up every night with a drink in his hand and usually "fall asleep" sitting up on the couch about 9.
Anyway, I can only imagine what it is like to have one drunk and mean when he comes through the door, cause it hasn't happened to me. The dread and anger and fear one must feel. He got mean-mouthed drunk one Saturday morning and that's when the 12 year old and I (she'd been watching the Vodka in the fridge) figured it out. And on Sunday I had a very quiet one sentence conversation with him and he quit. (And I thought our troubles were over. And they weren't.)
But just now, I asked DDH, I wonder if anybody has ever said to an A when he came in plotzed, "Oh Honey! I'm so glad to see you are drunk! I was hoping you'd have a lot to drink before you came home. Just sit or lie down right over here and pass out, okay?"
He looked kind of shocked and said, "It might sober him up." I have no idea. Just had the thought.
I wonder what would happen if I said to him when he gets into a dry drunki, "Oh Honey! I'm so glad to see you are miffed to the gills! It's been a long time since you came at me with something like that! I was wondering if you were okay. Why don't you scream and yell and say a lot of mean things!"
I just remembered when our daughter tried to throw a tantrum the first time. It was so cute and funny. She was right at two. And she was trying to kick her feet and pound her fists and cry all at the same time and it wasn't very well coordinated, and I lay down beside her and laughed. Couldn't help it. And she paused, looked over at me in disgust and got up and walked away. Never did try it again and I probably warped her for life because maybe she needed to express herself that way. I don't know.
Thanks for letting me talk to myself.
Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
My husband does sometimes point out my dry drunk behaviors that emerge when I don't call my sponsor or go to enough meetings. He's more objective than me. But being in recovery has made me able to handle that feedback. An active A or total dry drunk would just say you were crazy and playing games with them and use it as yet another reason to drink or be a jerk.
Grateful, you may have Liam. Did you notice the way Mark was just going to hand him over to me? When you hollered first? I have a different actor picked out. And fantasy in a fantasy, not even the actor hisownself, but him as he was playing a certain role.
What did people do before TV and movies? I suppose many of them swooned over Byron. He was pretty cute and man could the boy write! Who else? The great composers, perhaps, if you only listened and didn't look too long at their photographs or portraits.
We live in a very accommodating age.
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Oh, good. I'm glad you're okay with me inserting myself into the fantasy that Mark created for you. I usually don't nose my way in to somebody else's fantasy but when it comes to Liam, all sense of propriety and prudence go out the door. I really don't need one cat of the two. It was really Liam I was interested in. I'm also glad that there won't be a need to flip a coin or anything when it comes to him. I love that you don't have a fantasy of a real person but just a role the person played in a movie.
Now, tell me - who is Byron? I'm lost on this one.
If I were to meet a composer, the one I'd want to meet is Glenn Miller. I love that big band sound. What about you?
Channing Tatum? Really? Did you see him in Magic Mike? I did not expect to like that movie and I loved it!
I can be so concrete--I'm thinking what team? And I know some athletes have strange names, but Lord Byron?
GTB: I ran across Don Juan in my Norton Anthology one night when I was supposed to be studying somebody else. And the next day we had a quiz and I wrote, "I"m sorry--I haven't read this yet--I stumbled onto Don Juan last night and, and. And Bless his enlightened heart, my prof gave me credit for that.
(Or their liquid brown eyes or the way they look in Turkish dress. Oh, and he was so brave! Went to Greece and became a hero. And did I mention athletic? Swam the Hellispont. And a very romantic limp. A cody's dream, come to think of it. Oooh, let me! I can fix him!
I hope this is my topic, cause if it isn't I've hijacked somebody else's.
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
That reminds me of American Bandstand, back in the day: I'd give J.S. Bach's greatest hits a 7, because you can't dance to it. Insert giggling emoticon.
-- Edited by Temple on Friday 3rd of October 2014 10:19:39 AM
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Let's do it, Temple. There'll be one cat for you and one cat for me and, and, and - what'll we do about Liam?