The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was at my F2F meeting last night, and the topic of grief was mentioned in one of the readings. I shared about the loss of the marriage I thought I had, maybe did have, want to have, but do not. I also spoke about the damage that not only has been done to me, but the hurt I have watched happen to my son and dtr-in-law from dealing with my A spouse. One vacation in particular a few years ago was just unbearable. I got home last night and thought I was OK, but this morning as soon as my A got up and started interacting with me, I just wanted her to go away and leave me alone. I got my toolbelt out and started working on myself immediately, but if left to my own devices, without recovery, I will be one angry son-of-a-gun all the time. Lyne
You're wanting recovery Lyne and that is the kind of member I hang out with. "I got out my tool belt and started working on myself". That is the reminder for me. One of the tools for me is forgiveness. Forgiveness and resentments cannot exist at the same time in the same place and I do not like feeling resentments any longer and at all.
Mahalo for this post and I hope you got past it fast. ((((hugs))))
Thank you for sharing, Lyne. I understand completely. If it were not for my HP and my Al-Anon tool-box, anger would have completely consumed me. Hang in there. Life does get better when you are in recovery.
It works if you work it. Keep coming back.
__________________
Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
I can relate, sometimes it slips out and I get a glimpse of hiw I was and could be without alanon. Todays reading in c2c was talking about this. When looking back at memories look for the good ones, the bad ones only rile up negative feelings so whats the point.x
Believe me I have plenty I could be angry about to this day. But I have a serenity about it all. Its not my job to react to his boloney now or in the past.
I can tell you that bitterness is what killed my Mother. She never got over being mad at my Daddy. i honestly believe that is what made her develop breast cancer.
Wish I had known what I do now so I could have helped her.
Its not bad to be angry yet get over it quickly. I remember a goat on Sesame street saying,"It's not baaaaaaaaad to be mad."
I was actually like OH ok....
My life is pretty serene becuz i seem to respond to stuff that makes others mad with curiosity, interest. Also with love I think ok what the most loving way to handle this?
I don't keep poisonous people around me ever, and do not respond to boloney.
Hoping you can do more to make you happy. hugs,
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
I can relate, sometimes it slips out and I get a glimpse of hiw I was and could be without alanon. Todays reading in c2c was talking about this. When looking back at memories look for the good ones, the bad ones only rile up negative feelings so whats the point.x
Grammie, this reference was to Courage to Change daily reader.