The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A few weeks ago, I met with a service man from a heating and cooling firm in our area to do routine maintenance on my air conditioner. He asked if I wanted him to do service on my water heater for an additional cost which made sense to me since it is 10 years old. He discovered he couldn't do the work of service because he couldn't drain it - indicatiion of hardened sediment. We negotiated and re-negotiated on a new water heater price and warranty which ended up being 4 figures. Wow! After he left, I found multiple little things like his not replacing the plates on the water heater, then noticing he hadn't replaced the furnace filter, or put the bleach bottle back where he got it or the water softener cleaner. I decided to go check the air conditioner, too, and found leaves and dirt in the bottom of it which is also a little thing but not so little to me since that removal was part of the service fee. In the past, those red flags and some others that happened, too, I would have noticed, told myself I was making too much of it, and gone on with the installation even though the warning seemed to still be with me.
This time, I refused to ignore them. I asked to talk to a manager and refused to allow a hard sell installation (service showed up last week with the hot water heater when I hadn't called to confirm a date or a time with the company - another red flag) and said exactly why I wanted to talk with a manager. We spoke today. Not only did he sincerely apologize for all that had happened, assured me that what was bothering me was a problem for him, too, since he knew the way he wanted things to be done and what was done wasn't to be done and all the people involved had already been called into his office and reprimanded. He also re-negotiated the price of the water heater and promised he would personally write up the proposal and would send only the people he knew would install it and install it well after I agreed to a time and date for install. Every red flag I had was down. I knew he wasn't just blowing smoke, he meant what he said and he understood and agreed with my concerns.
I am grateful to this program for helping me learn to heed red flags and to do what I can do to take good care of myself. The outcome of heeding the red flags ended up with me spending $300 less than what was quoted, meeting a person who lives in my community, and getting a top of the line water heater manufactured by an American-owned company and installed by a well-known American owned heating and plumbing contractor. Thank you HP. Thank you Al-anon. Thank you, MIP.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 4th of June 2014 10:35:27 AM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 4th of June 2014 10:36:12 AM
Good reminder Catherine. I heed those red flags more readily, although, still, at times, let those red flags melt into orange when I second guess. Thanks for the post this morning.
Validating yourself,listening to the still small voice within and having the Courage to speak your truth proved invaluable .Thanks for sharing the journey
Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean. A good reminder that it can get us further than just dealing with As in our lives.
Good job Catherine. I would hate to think anybody would pay >$1,000 for a water heater install, unless there is some kind of extenuating circumstances like it is hard to get to or new gas or electric had to be run.
Thanks, all. I know, Kenny. I was flabbergasted at the price. Checked box stores - by the time they are done with installation, I could have been paying even more. Now, I'm paying what - after researching - I believe is reasonable based on what they have to do now to bring it up to current codes, obtain a permit, and install it professionally, and find a way to carry the old one up with 40 gallons of water in it. Still expensive with all the new safety and energy efficiency things on it and although it is probably more for install than through a box store, there are no hidden costs and the dealer is reputable and I know who they are. Box stores wouldn't tell me who they contracted with to install. And this gal isn't going to be even trying to make a change on her own. I can barely drag 40 pounds of rock salt to the basement and pour it into the water conditioner.
(((K, PP, HR)))
Wow! That was pricey. We had our gas water heater replaced last year for just under $900 and I still thought that was high. Great awareness and wonderful validation of heeding your gut feelings and noticing those red flags. Thank you for sharing!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Pats on the back...add mine to them. I love the responses as each reveals part of the process we learn in recovery completed. "The courage to change the things I can" also came to my mind. Our recovery community here on the east side of the island is tight and we also step up for each other on needs like this. That will also lower the cost while holding up trust. Great post!!... (((((hugs)))))
Good reminder Catherine. I heed those red flags more readily, although, still, at times, let those red flags melt into orange when I second guess. Thanks for the post this morning.
oh yea, i can relate to letting it fade to orange.....i get better and better at listening to that inner voice of mine, but its daily program work that keeps me alert......the tendency to not trust our own instincts (learned behaviour) like I would see something and KNOW it was wrong and be told "you didn't see that" or "naaaw just your imagination" when my EYES TOLD me I saw such and such........now, with program, I see what i see, i don't maximize it or minimize it.....i see it for what it is and IF i am not sure, i get 2nd opinions from folks who might know more about the subject, but fact is I listen...pay attention to me.
Nice job, Grateful
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Yay!! good for you. My AH was so anal when it came to packing up his stuff and making the home owner happy> was neat.
I am so glad you got what you needed and wanted. I have had such problems with cable, no longer even get it, watch online. Or with the phone, now i use a cell. the service was awful One time they ran over my pigs bowls!
hey we have earned to be treated right, good for you there too. You taught them how to treat you!
hugs!
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Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
Thank you, all. It does feel good to know I did connect with a reputable firm and even if the workers weren't living up to their end of the bargain, the GM will. And it feels even better to be able to share my progress in program with you and to feel your care for me, too. You are such a delightful bunch of people to know. Thank you for being you.
Wow, awesome for you doing your homework and standing up for yourself, this seems to be going on a lot around MIP lately and I am glad to be a part of it! Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Great! Thanks for sharing. Proud of you! I used to be ilk ethos too, taking myself and my needs less importantand had to deal with a lot of internal frustrations and therefore some passive aggressive behavior I guess. This program helps, in every area of life, I agree.
hugs, love and support to you!
the service was awful One time they ran over my pigs bowls!
hey we have earned to be treated right, good for you there too. You taught them how to treat you!
hugs!
oh now you run over my pets bowls, that is "fight night" for me....and yea, we do teach folks how to treat us.....stand up to bullies and jerks and they back off......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
This kind of thing crops up for me in so many areas being a 'single' woman. Car repairs give me the willies because of this. I had something go wrong with one of my front wheels in a 2 year old car (!). Took it to one mechanic who wasn't real big on communication. He claimed BOTH front wheels needed to be fixed and that it'd cost $600. I realized there was no way for me to know if that were true or not. So I went for a 2nd opinion elsewhere, and that guy confirmed it was just the 1 wheel, not both, so I got it fixed for around $200.
Lack of professionalism bugs me, as do so-called 'professionals' assuming that because I am female I will just pay $$$ to get something done. Youtube has provided a great service for people like me.
Good for you for insisting on speaking to a higher-up.