The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello all....looking for some ES&H. I really like my job. I have a co worker who is a dry A. How do I detach? She tries to abuse me on the job, to suck me into her drama. I stay out of it but she is the elephant in the living room. I am having a really hard time. The boss likes to complain about her, and says he is going to lay her off. We will see if this happens. In the meantime, I love my work and all the other people I work with. How do I detach? I have gotten away from the slogans and steps.....getting back in this again.....
Hello all....looking for some ES&H. I really like my job. I have a co worker who is a dry A. How do I detach? She tries to abuse me on the job, to suck me into her drama. I stay out of it but she is the elephant in the living room. I am having a really hard time. The boss likes to complain about her, and says he is going to lay her off. We will see if this happens. In the meantime, I love my work and all the other people I work with. How do I detach? I have gotten away from the slogans and steps.....getting back in this again.....
hey Robin....I had a similiar problem...a real B**** at work...secretary and what i did was keep the focus on me...my good work...and when i had to relate w/her it was with a smile and a "good morning" and always a nice smile....when she got crappy w/me, I would say "gee I am sorry u r having another bad day, I will send you smiles and happy thoughts" and I would walk away....I killed her w/kindness w/out getting into her drama....she could not stand it...i was not "being miserable" as she was...it killed her that i was always happy, focused and totally unscathed by her crappy attitude at me........I would focus on my love for my work and remember...you didn't cause this...you dam sure can't control it and you aint gonna cure it.....boss will either let her go or not....but obviously you love and care about your work and so you are the "keeper" there...just remind yourself of that....YOU are the keeper and what you DONT allow (her shit) cannot hurt you...yea, its tough...but its doable....kill em with positiveness...at the very leat you will screw up HER day, LOL.....hang strong...slogans are a big help.....U can do this....:) sending you smiles and happy thoughts to carry to work w/you....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I would tell my co-worker I don't want to hear this stuff. I'm not here to hear the drama or be attacked because of it. I'm here to do a job and be productive for this company. Please don't include me and walk away. Thank you.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Robin If I loved a job,as you do I would make every effort to let go of the negative messages that I conjure up when I see this person. I would process my negative feelings and ask HP to lift the anger and resentment that I feel.,
Keeping the focus on myself, slogans, meetings, daily gratitude and asset lists, daily mediation all remind me that my life and my happinesss are my primary aim and I will not sell myself or my serenity short any longer by reverting to my negative destructive tools.
Keep coming back
Thank you everyone. I do not speak to the co worker, she has been told by the boss to leave her anger at home. She asks me questions regarding my job that have nothing to do with her. I have decided to stop answering the questions. Yet, she is still a trigger for me. Last week she was not there and the atmosphere was sooo much better. I will take this one day at a time.
I am not going to discuss her anymore with the boss, it is up to him to get rid of her. He has a plan now he has to stick to it. Infortunately, the plan is to lie to her when he fires her.
I will process my negative feelings and ask HP to lift the anger and resentment. Thank you for that.
Thank you everyone. I do not speak to the co worker, she has been told by the boss to leave her anger at home. She asks me questions regarding my job that have nothing to do with her. I have decided to stop answering the questions. Yet, she is still a trigger for me. Last week she was not there and the atmosphere was sooo much better. I will take this one day at a time.
I am not going to discuss her anymore with the boss, it is up to him to get rid of her. He has a plan now he has to stick to it. Infortunately, the plan is to lie to her when he fires her.
I will process my negative feelings and ask HP to lift the anger and resentment. Thank you for that.
yep, detachment is best...I HAD to deal w/my ex co worker in limited areas, thank god not much, and when i had to (she was friendly w/one of the bosses) deal with her, I just killed her w/kindness w/out any personal chit chat or anything like that....its easy for me as a "codie" to get triggered by someone and when I am, i look at me..what is the message here?? what is the step or slogan i need to work on that she/he is bringing up??? and so on.....i agree, u already talked w/boss, i would drop it as well....keep sharing with us and keep working on you...you're gonna be fine..people like her must have no life, so they gotta bring us healthy ones down.....aint gonna happen...not with a strong program.......glad u r here
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I also need help detaching right now. Good thing I have my meeting tonight. The other day I let my dad have it.
It's great that we can talk openly about it but man he just doesn't understand. Even after all the investment everyone has made in his recovery, after all he's put people through he Still hangs out at the bar 5 nights a week and insists he isn't drinking.....he thinks he has the world fooled.
