The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well yesterday my son privately sent me a message through Facebook. Said he is holding himself responsible and he's alive. Today he sends me another message saying he's alive and well. I just responded that he is very much loved. It kills me to know that he is choosing to live the way he is living. But I have no control of nothing but myself. I pray and have tons of faith he will fight his battle that he has already one. The thought of losing him to this disease hurts much. But only the man above has that control and I'm praying my son makes his relationship with his high power. This is all so hard. But gods giving me strength to keep moving forward.
I'm happy for you Gaby. You got a message your were praying for. Your son is alive and well. He has the ability to get to a computer to send a message. What does that mean...means he has ways if he so chooses.
I will continue to fight my battle not to interfere with my son's life. If I continue to interject in it he will never learn anything and then what will happen when he's old and I am gone. I'm doing my part while my son is young and healthy in hopes he will survive this disease. I want him to have a better life.....not the life of drugs and alcohol until I'm gone. I will do my part now not later.
Remember you are not alone to keep reading and learning and take it one day at a time...
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
all that prayer is good, but what program work is going with it???? , lets talk about what step you are on.....there is a meet tonight and if i am home I am going because I need the meetings, step work, etc...I have a "dry drunk" daughter and i don't let her get to me as reflected in my posts b/c I am doing the steps and the meetings, literature and also recovery work with recovery mates....my recovering alcoholic, sober now for about 30 years, BFF and i worked the program steps this am...we went over powerlessness, step 1,2,3 and we also discussed that prayer w/out work is not gonna work...HP is not gonna baby sit me and her, he/she will guide us, lead us, but we have to get off our butts and do the program work on ourselves and work our options re: our problems...yea, we do our best and then surrender the rest............we need both.....what step are you working to take care of you??? and like i said....will we see you in the meeting room tonight??? they are on every day, I think.....Last nights meet was a goodie......I have every intention of going....I am sober, emotionally ONE day at a time and that is by working this program and all its suggestions......
I see you posting and that is good, but its all about him, not what , really, what you are doing re: program for you (meets, steps, do you have a sponsor, what slogans are you practicing, what literature are you reading) also answering and giving esh to others is another good way to work the program....this is a give and take program is all i am saying....I get a lot from this community b/c i am here giving...yes, i am not on THIS board so much b/c i am mostly in meetings, doing one on one work w/a recovery mate on steps, et al, and i have a coda board i post on....but I do come here to offer up support and encouragement...i do it for me just as much as i do it for the other.....what i give to life, i get from life.....
Just saying....take what you can use and leave the rest.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
That's a gratitude Gaby...He can still and will still communicate with you. My eldest son; a relapse which has caused a ton of damage, is very selective about who, what and how he makes contact...never with me (I'm not getting in God's way over that) and superficially with his own children. Cunning, Powerful and Baffling. I don't have to stand on the train tracks watching the train come at me to understand that its coming. I get off the tracks and stand way back and say "This too will pass". Keep turning him over like you are doing and stay with what you need to do with Gaby. Good growth. ((((hugs))))
Keep working the actual program of Alanon gaby. You can be happy and not obsessing, mourning or catastropizing if you do actually surrender. It doesn't make you a bad mom to be happy in spite of his addiction. Get to meetings, call your sponsor, and reclaim your serenity.
It seems like you recognize you can't help or fix him but are letting his disease and choices dominate your consciousness. You have made the same post about knowing you can't help him and only God can over 10 times but then are tortured by that rather than set closer to free. Would you like to stop suffering? Neshema laid out how to do it for you.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Sunday 1st of June 2014 12:23:09 AM