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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Little thing, big work
Post Info TOPIC: Little thing, big work
Fifi


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Little thing, big work
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These days the little things show me how much work I have to do for myself and for healing my disease. Example. It is night time and I go to bed early with a migraine. When sober BF comes to bed, I wake up. I feel upset and "wronged" because "he woke me up". I still have my migraine and I ask if he will rub my shoulders to help me get back to sleep. He says no, he is exhausted and is ready to fall asleep. Selfish? Maybe. Legitimate and honest answer? Yes. But what do I do?! I freak out. Feel abandoned, unloved, connected to a selfish looser. Pity pot! Start to cry myself to sleep. THIS IS MY DISEASE AT WORK. A healthier response would have to feel disappointment, and then fall asleep. Which I decided to do! I am tired of crying,yield to sleep. I choose, when I have the clarity and strength to do so, to NOT over react and to take care of me. I am trying. 



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hotrod


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Great awareness and honesty Fifi. Please continue to keep the focus on yourself and take care of you--- You are so worth it.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
grateful2be


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Good share! Thank you, Fifi!

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Newlife girl


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Fifi, I have gone through that same scene with my AH many times. Being turned down is something I had a hard time dealing with. I had to look at the big picture, too. I was being turned down too many times. I felt lonely a lot. I think A's tend to be lethargic and selfish. The truth can hurt.

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Living life one step at a time
Debilyn


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I believe in asking for what I want/need. Maybe when he is feeling awake you can tell him nicely how you feel. Migraines are horrible.

I understand being woke up is not a good thing. Maybe put a note on the door outside letting him know you have one, and a please do not wake me up would help? Maybe have an alternative sleeping arrangement?

wondering too if it is more than what you shared. Are you feeling unloved? Need more intimacy? Myself I have to look at what I really need/want.

Letting out your frustration like that is part of your being in pain.

hope things settle and you guys can talk.



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Fifi


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Thanks for reading between the lines everyone. :). Yes. Selfishness does seem to be part of his MO. And yes it hurts me. And yes, it is hard for me to accept it..... Xo

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