The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I came to alanon, I already had a relationship with HP. I'd had a "religious" experience 20+ yrs ago and went from agnostic to believer. So to incorporate HP into my recovery was not a struggle.
My A on the other hand told me today that she is looking for her HP. I said "good." I hope you find Him. And I pray many mornings that He will come and jolt her like a bolt of lightening. But I do have some compassion for the folks that have no belief system and want so much to find their HP. Then to join recovery is so closely linked to having an HP. How do you do that-find your HP? Lyne
There are agnostic AA groups that use the St Francis prayer to close their meetings. So while it helps to have a HP .. you just need to believe that there is something bigger than you .. that can be the group itself. A HP can be anything .. nature, the meeting group, universal light are a few of the terms I have heard. It's just a connection to something that is bigger. A spiritual awakening can be soft and gentle vs that jolt of lightening. I can look back now and see how the God of my understanding has been working in my life even when I felt I was at my loneliest.
For me I have a religious belief system so it wasn't hard to find my HP .. I realized that this is about my definition of what an HP is and I choose to call Him God. If someone wants to dance naked in the rain while waving a chicken over their head and call the Gods and Goddesses whatever works for them as long as it works for them.
I have had many spiritual things happen in my life .. I think it's just more about seeing more good than the bad .. I don't know if that makes sense and realizing that I'm just another bozo on the bus doing the best that I can. It's just like recovery a very individual experience.
Big hugs to you, S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I'm of the mind that my HP found me. I just had to be open and willing to allow the connection to a power greater than myself that didn't humiliate, criticize, or sabotage my efforts at healing from the effects of the disease. About the time I was ready to put yet another understanding of my HP in a box, a new spiritual awakening occurred and my understanding of my HP changed. This may sound harsh and maybe it is, but I am not one who cares whether another finds an HP. I just trust that if my HP doesn't give up on me than there's nothing saying that another's HP will give up on them. It just isn't my business. It's the other person's business and their HP's.
I am already a Christian, therefore have no problem with there being an HP, although I wondered if he really loved me when he allowed my wife to become an alcoholic. However, now that I understand the disease better, I'm convinced that our grasping onto HP is the only thing that pulls both us and the A out of addiction. Addiction is a full-on onslaught, with a positive feedback loop that, when left its course, will increase and increase because there is no mechanism to let it decrease.
Somehow we come to understand that there is an HP that can help us with this. That HP is the thing we can grasp to pull us out of our addiction, just like grabbing a buoy is the thing that keeps a drowning man from going under again.
As far as finding it - I like what Serenity said, look around for *something*. I personally don't like the New Agey kind of stuff, but it really isn't my business what you or anyone else chooses as HP, I would just be happy that you found something. If you can use that something, then your understanding of it changes as you work through the steps and recovery, then so be it.
