The material presented
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I'm feeling very preoccupied w/ thoughts about my A father. I havent seen him drink in almost a year b/c he has been "sober"...though I think he just hides it from me. Next week we are having a family reunion & I am very anxious about him drinking in front of me. I am actually always anxious when i am w/ him that he will drink. It has not happened yet, but i have smelt alcohol on his breath twice. It is just very traumatic.
I have been in al-anon for almost a year & i have a sponsor & go to meetings. I am just having a tough day & have always found this forum to be so helpful. Thanks for your time.
Hi Living, I can offer you some prayers and a big hug. I have been praying a lot today which has helped me at least to calm my fears and anxiety. Sorry this is just tough to deal with.
I catch myself worrying about whether or not I can handle something in the future, too. It helps me to focus on myself and the day that is mine now. It also helps me to believe that my HP will give me what I need to handle whatever happens in the future, too. Your Dad may drink in front of you and he may not. Either way, you can choose to enjoy yourself and your family as they are at your family reunion. Many of my sibs drink. They'd hide it in front of my Mom out of respect for her (and probably because there'd be hell to pay if they broke out the beer and hard liquor in front of her.) After she died, they no longer hid the fact that they drink. I can count on booze and beer being at all family gatherings. I generally leave before my sibs get smashed. To them, I'm a wet blanket. To me, I'm a person who can put limits around the amount of time I will spend with them. That way, we're all free to be who we are and do what we do. It bothers me that this disease is progressive and could kill my sibs, but I also know I'm totally powerless over it and over them but I'm not powerless over me. I love my sibs and I don't love their being smashed. I'm not making a judgment about it. I just know its fruitless to try to have any real communion with folks who are drinking. AlAnon helped me face the fact that my sibs are affected by a disease I didn't cause, can't control and can't cure. It also helped me face the fact that I can be hurt by the disease if I allow myself to be in its company for very long.
Hello, Well my Mum is the one I was always worried about. I just had to TRY TO let go in family functions. I would ask her not to drink sometimes but then she generally did as she pleased. I decided to enjoy being with the rest of my family and not stress about her drinking/behaviour etc. To be honest often I was embarrassed on how it reflected on me. I found telling people about my fears helped. To be honest very new with Al anon and unsure about how valid my posts are so good luck.
Walk outside and find three beautiful things, breathe and see how you feel.
