The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It looks like we will be moving .. I have 3 hours until I get the keys and things are CRAZY is putting it mildly. This happened all so fast and it's so great for the kids and for me. It's a beautiful 3brd 1 1/2 bath which is what I have wanted for years a town house!!
The hard part is letting go of what the STBAX is or isn't doing at the moment. He's on u/e and he's just as crazy as ever. Kids birthdays both this last week and he's managed to get out of control already when it comes to dealing with me with visitation ... he refuses to come to me and make arrangements and my daughter has expressed her disinterest in having to be the go between very clearly to him. I told her .. her standard answer is if he's asking her things he needs to address with me .. you really need to address that with mom and get back to me.
The anger that he has is so real and it can be felt through the phone. He has hung up on me before I could tell him we were moving. He is trying to control how we are spending this weekend (and every other weekend even trying to plan things for the kids during the week). He's trying to blame either me or the kids. None of us are having it .. no that's not what you said and I'm sorry you feel that way have been pretty standard statements. He's not liking that in the least. He's fine with the kids the anger is completely directed at me .. his life is MY fault. I know he's angry that his life didn't turn out the way it was suppose to. The original tramp is long gone. She was going to be his saving grace and she bailed on him big time .. honestly .. not going to lie .. would love to know the story on that one .. LOL! He's trying to desperately hook up with others as much as he can. I'm not patting him on the head for his "recovery process" which I believe is already gone by the wayside based upon the anger he's exhibiting. After all he's going to celebrate recovery and church .. why isn't that enough .. well ... because I now listen with my eyes and my eyes can tell as well as my ears .. that's not recovery talking .. so NOT my issue. Now I understand why his atty positioned himself the way he did .. he already knows stbax is probably going back .. something must have happened regarding that issue and there is still no modification regarding u/e and he may not .. I think his relationship with his atty has faltered in many ways.
Anyway, thanks for listening .. yes I know .. I need to breathe .. it's just moving a full house and a shed in less than 4 days I'm a little overwhelmed and I don't get the keys until today so there will be lots of driving and more packing and so on going on .. LOL! Thank goodness it's the weekend!!
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
So you know the anger I mentioned from my stbax .. it's definitely there .. I text him as soon as I got the keys. His response well I won't be able to see the kids anyway because my unemployment got denied. I have no money. My response .. I love alanon .. lol .. I'm sorry to hear that .. I hope it works out. I'm wondering how far his phone was thrown at that point? I don't believe him and it could be true. You know what .. it is what it is .. I'm very stressed to say the least. I can't control it. He could have been fired. He just got done collecting his vacation time I find it hard to believe he was denied because he didn't look for work. They haven't been paying him. I mean u/e .. so we will see what happens next pay period. I feel like he's wanting me to do something .. I'm just not sure what I'm suppose to do and the less I do it the angrier he gets. Go figure. No modification has been filed so we wait. Hugs s :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Send us pics if and when you can. Happy nesting in your new townhouse. You're leaving all the unhappy memories and happenings behind you. Good for you.
Settle into your new digs and just enjoy the peace. I can just see you sitting with the children playing on the floor and you with a smile and thanking HP for what he has given you. Oh and then all the hard work is done to sit down and have a great meal in your new home....YOURS!!
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
well, if you were near me I'd spend my one day off helping you as much as possible! Good luck and congratulations! I love Al-anon too, for the serenity that comes with understanding that some things are just the way they are and there is nothing I can do to change them and that has to be acceptable!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
