The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My daughter has been an alcoholic for about a year now, and just returned from an inpatient rehab center. She has started work again, and asked to be put on anabuse. She has been home a week(she does not live in my state) and has been sick with a bad cold, so she has not attended AA yet. She says she wants to find a group. How hard should I push her into getting in to one now? I know it has to be her decision,,,but I have a feeling she is nervous to go find one alone.
That must be hard, being alone and trying to stay sober.
When my AW came out of rehab the first time, she had a group of friends she met there, but they didn't connect very much. She relapsed about 4 months out. Second rehab she met some new friends, went to 60 meetings in 30 days, got a serious sponsor, and she is 4 months sober and going strong.
The best resource she has is her inpatient center. They likely have meetings there, and she has likely been to them. if she can go back to those, or hook up with somebody she met there that is really trying. Pushing will likely not help, listening sympathetically and letting her know what you think is likely your best bet. Also, if rehab center doesn't have resource for whatever reason, information on the nearest group is as close as the telephone directory and the web. if she wants to go she will find a way.
One thing I have learned with my Ason is I can't do it for him or nothing changes. He has to learn to depend on himself and not his mom. I can be in support but it's totally up to him now to stop his addiction with the help he alone seeks. I want a man and not a adult child. I only pray for peace and forgiveness from my HP that I didn't do this 5 years ago.
Take care of you and pray to your HP for guidance on your decisions.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
The best way for me to support their efforts at sobriety is to mind my own business , work my own program . She will find support or not her choice . I am assuming that your not attending Al-Anon for yourself yet , please find meetings take care of you and leave her to her HP . just my opinion. One quote I heard along time ago was * the more I try to open someones eyes the more they close their ears * so I have found no unsolisited advice works for me . Louise
My experience has been it doesn't matter what I do or don't do to influence or support my A, he will do what he does with or without me. Al-Anon taught me how to detach in love and to trust my A and his HP to handle his issues in whatever way they chose to work it out. I put the bulk of my energy into helping myself off the merry-go-round of being a mother who helped too much into being a mother who helped best by not helping at all except with prayers and loving my son without trying to heal my son. That's his HP's job and his. Keep coming back.
