Trying to regain trust .... - Al-Anon Family Group

NavySealWife · Veteran Member

Trying to regain trust ....

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I don't trust or distrust. Take things as they come.

Trusting an A for me is insanity on my part. They are very sick and lead by a disease. It thinks nothing of spending every last dime, hocking things that mean everything to the person it is controlling.

I do not believe in signing my name with the A ever. I will have my own account, never share one. My name would never be on anything of theirs. To me it is dangerous and I lost everything because I did not know not to.

Would you trust someone else who acts like your A? This disease is one we have to protect ourselves from. I am still fighting to not lose my home! Just not long ago finally got a nice pick up again, have money saved and can pay my very few bills, power,net, life insurance on him, car insurance and my cell that is it. I in no way want a mess again in my life.Took me years to climb out.

He has nothing. If he is still alive as I cannot find him! His family is all gone too.

Anyway Al anon teaches us to think of us, what we can do to keep our lives safe, how to protect ourselves from the disease. They are only going to get worse as time goes on.

We have no way of knowing if and when they are drinking, the disease is very crafty. Actually it is none of our business.

I am so glad you are here, and you are progressing in your own program. Have you gone to a meeting yet there or here. I hope you will.

I trusted my A to be who he was, do what he was going to do. If I told you what he had and all he sold it would floor you. It also included many things of my own that I would go to use but it was gone. Even things that were my mothers....

Keep coming!!

sad_dog_mommy · Veteran Member

Trust is earned with time and patience. It isn't a gift given freely. Be kind and true to yourself while you decide how to proceed.

((( hug )))

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Trust...there is none with me. I can only love and except what is. Changes are seen not heard then trust will come back hopefully someday. Instead take care of you and have faith in yourself to make the decisions that are good for you. Anything else will come in time with or without him and you will know it in your heart.

Let go Let God....

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Learning to trust my own instincts, intuitions and desire to take good care of myself helped me withdraw from drama, financial insecurity and unnecessary anxiety and trauma. I won't trust my A to be or do anything but what As do if not earnestly working a program. You're doing just fine.

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Monica, when she is sober I have broken my wife's trsut, and when she was active A, she broke mine. When both situations happened, the trust had to be earned back. It isn't just something I can give back when she wakes up in the morning from a binge and says she is sorry. It ias something she has to earn back by convincing me with deeds that I can treust her. When the shoe was on the oterh foot it was the same way.

As Grateful said,you are doing fine. You are seeing glimpses of your old self before A, keep it up!

Kenny

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.