The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This holiday has always been a disappointment in my relationship with my AH. Back when we were first dating, he bought me beautiful amythest earrings. We were both drunk, wandering through the jewelry store, acting stupid, until the sales clerk asked, 'Are you buying something or what?' So he bought the earrings.
Then further into our dating he would send flowers. Once they came with the wrong card, once they came on the wrong day, once they never came at all, despite assurances from the florist that they were on their way.
Then the flowers devolved to boxes of candy from the drug store or gas station. Probably purchased along with his cigarettes and rolling papers.
For years we just made a joke about it, as if the universe had somehow conspired to ruin our romantic day. Then last year, my eyes were finally opened and I realized it was not the universe that caused these epic fails, it was my husbands lack of planning, lack of attention, and last year his complete and total selfishness.
This year, I have no expectations. I may take myself out for a manicure later today. I will wish all of you lovely ladies and gentlemen a day full of happiness and self love and care. Be good to yourselves!
Not sure what you've been doing (specifically with your program) but wow...You sound like a totally different person than a year or two ago. Amazing. This stuff works. That was insightful, strong, calm, assured, accepting....and it just seeped out of you in response to this Valentine's Day thing. Thanks Paris...I hope you have a great day. That was inspiring (even though I acknowledge some of the sadness of addiction within it).
I really like the fact that you are going to treat yourself to something to day!!!! Wow! Wow! Wow!!! If that isn't program progress, I'll eat the Reece's heart shaped peanut butter cups. (Okay! I'm going to eat them anyway, but still!) Happy be good to you day, Paris.
Have a happy day my friend. I will be going out and buying my SO's birthday dinner and a heart shaped birthday cake. I like it...something to celebrate which is OK with me.
While I'm out I think I will get a pedicure myself....I love them
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
What a great way to take care of you by having a manicure for your Special Gift!
Love it, great program work! YOU are sooo worth it:)
I learned early on in Al-Anon, that any Holiday is just another 24 hours....it really helped me to NOT have unrealistic expectations:) and I learned it is way ok to buy myself flowers, the mani/pedi, and outfit, whatever I would like or need:) I am so grateful for that:)!
Have a great day, let us know how the manicure goes!!
I had to laugh at what Serenity said, because I would have written a book, too, LOL! Thank you for sharing Paris, what a beautiful program you are working!
Well, this year he completely surprised me and had flowers delivered, from the mascot of the local minor league baseball team. It was very cute. It's crazy, just when I give up my expectations, he goes and does this sweet thing that took pre-planning, attention to detail and thoughtfulness. Maybe he is getting better. Whatever the case, he did a nice thing today, so I'm just going to enjoy the moment.
