Icky days - Al-Anon Family Group

Melly1248 · ~*Service Worker*~

Icky days

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Melly)))

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Melly it helps ALL of us when we vent. I was going to say yep relate to icky things. I sure hope you don't lose your desire to share with us. sometimes we just need to let it out!

you are in a tough spot. but with your tenacity and humor, i see you catching a miracle big time. I mean that.

I hope you feel loved and cared about, becuz you are. I know you get some negative talk from some of your loved ones, and you let it bounce off as much as you can. but it can get old. I know I find you so darn interesting!!!

seriously you are a very loving person. Your daughter is a hoot! cute thing!

Keep us updated we love your energy!!!

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with us here. We love you and can relate like no one else. Your MIP family is here whenever you need. Sending you much love and support always!!

Melly1248 · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks all. I had a yuk few days earlier in the week, but related to non-alanon stuff really which is why I ended up deciding to remove my grizzling post...lol. Now I'll re-grizzle it all over again

Remember I bought an electric bike to get me a bit more mobile, well it arrived pretty banged up and not working. The battery is damaged and doesn't work. I had done heaps of research on which bike and who to buy from and these guys seemingly had a great reputation. It turns out they make great bikes and take care of the retailers who sell them so they have great reviews in bike magazines etc but the little people who order direct from the company are treated like garbage. Anyway their attitude has been "tough luck" and legally it's complicated and very hard to pursue. They blame their courier, their courier doesn't respond to anything...I've since found another lady (who posted complaints on their facebook page) and she tells me her brand new bike also arrived banged up and not working, and that she never did get any replacement parts or recompense from the company and ended up having to buy the new parts to get the bike working. This is devistating because the bike cost a lot of money and I was only able to get it by taking a loan so this was a HUGE investment for me and the only option I now have in order to have the bike work is to give that awful company (who have been SO rude and SO disgustingly behaved) $550 for a replacement battery (apparently you can't get them from anywhere else). So, long story short....after deciding to do something good for myself and waiting excitedly for it to arrive, I now have a massive loan to pay each week and a pile of useless junk sitting in the garage. To pursue it through consumer affairs will take many months and will probably result in nothing as they will simply claim that I damaged the bike myself. So the other morning the reality set in....the bike is not going to suddenly start working no matter how much I jiggle things around, and the company is not going to suddenly develop a conscience and send me a new bike...and basically all I have to show for my efforts is a great big fat debt. And I know it's just money but it was a big deal; I made a decision a couple of months ago not to go in the car with ABF at all so I've been walking everywhere and this was going to be a step towards freedom until I can drive. Anyway it got me very, very down and felt like the final straw; I kinda dissolved into a puddle of self-pity for a few days there. I'm usually pretty good at handling disappointment but this just felt like too much for some reason.

Anyway that's what my pointless vent was all about, I'm over my pity party now lol. Bad things happen whether you "really need them to go right" or not. I'm sure there is something I'm meant to learn from it.

What is now comical (not so much at the time) is that ABF saw me crying and for some reason decided to be concerned. So he got roaring drunk, had a day off work and spent it "cheering me up". Drunkenly trying to get me to dance with him to horribly loud music, telling me over and over that he's sorry for everything and it's all going to be different from now on...just what I needed when I was feeling so sad and defeated...lol...if my bike had worked I would have just gotten on it and ridden away...hehe.

Anyway, as I said, not really alanon related, just a situation that really got me down and gave me an accute case of the "poor me's" lol.

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Everything is Al-anon related. Its about our life and what is happening with it no matter what it is. One crisis leads to others so getting help with the matter helps all the way around. I have a weight problem and I wrote about it. I need encouragement to get on a diet which leads to me being happier, which leads to taking on other problems one day at a time. Maybe this doesn't make much sense to others but that's what I need.

Get it? Got it....good

((( hugs ))))

Melly1248 · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks Cathy

I went to a meeting on the day when I couldn't stop crying (possibly just to get away from ABF for a couple of hours, lol) and I felt better just sitting there, to be honest, only half listening and too upset to concentrate properly but sitting quietly soaking in the warmth and acceptance in the room, watching the cute baby that attends the meeting and rolls around on her bunny-rug gurgling and smiling...I did feel much lighter when I walked out and no more tears after that...just knowing I am a part of something good and that I have a means to grow and get better helps so much even when I'm in a mess and not focused.

Diets are hard. I'm like you described, I don't eat when I am anxious and the less anxious I feel in general, the more I eat and the wider I get lol. I lost 15kg years ago when ABF slept with someone else and again when he left me for a time...I used to say he should get a job as a weight-loss guru..hilarious, not...how awful that I let someone else's actions dictate everything right down to whether or not I ate!! Maybe some part of me thinks it needs to store up fat during the good times because I know I can't eat during the bad, or something like that. I'm hoping that the better I get and the more balanced my life is in general, the more my yoyo binge/starve cycle will start to balance out of its own accord. I'm utterly awful at diets but I try to basically shove in as much mega-nutritious food as I can early in the day (fish and vegetables for breakfast is a fave of mine) in the hope that I wont crave junk later in the day...it works to some extent..
Anyway, thanks. Yes that does make sense to me. I get it, I got it and it is good

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.