The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For the past 24 hours I have been feeling more and more like I am in a good space. Today at around 3pm I started getting sad again thinking of how beautiful AW looked the day I decided to propose and the day we got married. I went over to a co worker and asked her to pray with me. She did and then said. I want you to think long and hard about who you are today and how you got here. Your wife is not leaving the same weak disorganized person she met 11 years ago. She is leaving you in your prime. And that child is fortunate that your wife did this all now because that means that you will now have longer to provide a sense of stability for her that will be free of your constant financial triage of your wife's disasters. Do not get so lost in the worth of others that you forget your self worth. And is actually saw what my co worker was saying clearly. When we met AW ha a full time career already teaching 3 years and I was finishing my MA and working as a personal trainer and swim instructor. I got through law school and landed a great job. Im paid well and respected as a college and a parent. Since I discovered the affair I often felt that my wife had cheated because something was lacking in me. But I was so wrapped in the pain that I couldn't see all that id accomplished since we met. And all of it on my own dime while she spent the past 11 years climbing fr one credit bill to another. I have to say that I was worried about single parenting but I have been providing financial stability since before she was born. So actually my wife couldn't have decided to leave me at a better time and for that I thank my HP.
It's so good that you can look at the positives here. My own experience in life truly has been when one door closes, another door opens. I don't have to keep beating my head at the closed one - especially when its giving me a headache and wearing off my hair. Focusing on you and your assets and those things you can be grateful for every day is a program practice that helps us slowly and gently heal. Good work, TH.
Glad that you're in a better place and much more serene.
Its good to glance at the past for a minute, but looking too much into the past is time lost. There is no blame as to why people we love move on. Blame is like a hot potato.
Believe that it was nothing lacking in you . My ex alcoholic , who has recently passed away from organ failure, carried on with another woman for 10 years off and on, and managed to bring twins into the world out of wedlock, because he never divorced me or married her or lived with her. I legally separated from him , because I could not live with the drinking and what it brought to our life. Instead he continued to drink and destroy himself because he was so guilty over what he did to me. He buiilt up such resentment and loathing for her, he couldn't function. That woman your wife thinks she cannot live without is an effect of her drinking. Never be intimidated by the behavior of an alcoholic, for its not the woman that's her lover , it is the alcohol, Alcoholism is the beast and we cannot take it on or fight it alone, we need the tools of Alanon, we need a strong program. We have to work it or be destroyed by the beast. Keep your mind and spirit open for the good things to come.
Keep doing what your doing and you will eventually be great not just fine, HP does exist.
I used to look back a lot more, but now I am better off and in the present more fully and sometimes I jump into the future and have to pull myself back, knowing I can not enjoy right now if I am wishing it away and living for the future. I already hear your growth, sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
