The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year and Christmas (if you celebrate that). For the first time in a long time..our Christmas went really well..we opened gifts at home then went to my sister's house and then my uncle's house (my dad's brother)..it was hard not to be anxious but very surprisingly my AM hardly drank at all..It was a huge relief to have one day where it wasn't pure madness..the other 364 days can be crazyness but I was grateful to God for the one day of peace.
I pray that God would open my AM's heart and mind to the idea that she has a problem with her drinking..every time she drinks I die a little inside..I know she knows that we all love her and are being supportive of her until she takes that First Step..but there are times when I want to yell at her and other times like now when I just break down and cry my heart out.
I haven't the chance to do anything (going to F2F meetings) other than school and work..but I am making myself happy because I'm slowly finishing my prerequisites and then I can apply to the Physical Therapy Assistant Program. I do have two of my best friends who have been and continue to be a HUGE source of comfort, support etc. That is a blessing.
That's not to say it hasn't been easy..there was a night not too long ago where my dad and AM had a TERRIBLE argument whilst she was very very drunk..cursing and yelling..that's the worst I've seen it.
I do have great news..I passed my Anatomy & Physiology 1 class with a B!! It was a very challenging class but once I got a new lecture professor..the class made SO much more sense...my first professor was horrible at lecturing. I'm really proud of myself for not giving up and for pushing myself mentally and emotionally. I start A&P2 at the end of this month..can't wait!!!
Thanks for listening..
Hi, Phoenix. Glad you enjoyed a peaceful Christmas and passed your A & P 1 class with a B. I'm sorry to see that you didn't go to any meetings although I can understand your choice. I, too, put off what I needed most when I was living with an active A and even when I wasn't. I kept thinking it was about him and not me. I didn't need help. I didn't need to change. I was good. It was just my AH who needed to get his act together and stop using. My disease had me fooled. I see that now. Keep coming back. Please find time for meetings in your schedule. You won't regret it.
I am glad you had a peaceful Christmas. I was surprised that I really did have the time to go to face to face meetings. I had myself convinced otherwise Happy New Year to you, too!
Happy New Year to you, too!