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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Some News
Post Info TOPIC: Some News
Rose50


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Some News
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I was surprised to get an email from my son today after weeks of silence. He wrote that he's still living in the rooming house and desperately needs to move out as guys are overdosing on heroin and smoking crack. He says he's looking for work - he will take just about anything at this point. As a last resort he's considering moving in with his father which he admits he doesn't really want.

My ex lives in an area where you really need a car to get around and jobs are scarce. My son mentioned that staying sober is his priority and in the same sentence said that being sober is not fun. what ???? This was disturbing to me.

I responded with "Think about where drinking has taken you" and that I'm not saying anything else as I'm staying out of his business.I told him I have confidence in him and love him very much.

I'm determined to stay on my side of the street. It doesn't sound to me that he's committed to recovery. I know for a fact there are some good programs here in the city. He does have options - if he wants it bad enough. So at least I know he's still alive and I am leaving him in God's hands.

Just had to share.



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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Rose

I am glad that he contacted you.

Prayers and positive thoughts for your son and family 



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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I am so glad he contacted you. You know he has options and he knows too. I will keep him in my prayers he will find a way to get it right this time.

I'm so proud of you for sticking to your guns on this and staying on your side of the street and letting him know you love him and he can do this for himself.

(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

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I'm glad you heard from him, Rose. YOU are committed to recovery and that makes me smile. I am glad to know that you are going to spend Christmas with your daughter and grandchildren, too. That, too, makes me smile. Keep on workin' it, Rose. It helps me do the same.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Most addicts are like a person who has to learn to walk all over again.Face it drugs make things easier to face,walking into a crowded room, dates, whatever. They have done everything under the influence and called normal fun lame.

They have no idea how to live sober, on program. That is What AA is for. They don't know how to look at a sunset, they don't know how to watch a movie. They are also the maturity age they were before using.

They may not even know what in the world they think fun is, or what is fun! He has to figure that out.

I remember I was driving and kidnapped my A and drove way up into the mountains. It was amazing. he was so quiet, so disinterested. Took him to this old covered bridge. He told me he had lost the ability to enjoy things. He didn't know how.

We went to a beachhouse for a week end. He was such a dud I packed everything up and said we are going home. ugh. To be honest there were times I thought in my head I wish he was drunk so we could have fun. NOT meaning it. I wanted him to lighten up so badly. He loved to work and that was his thing. We laughed and joked, had many good times. Same at home, he built things, always loved it.

anyway remember we do not think like an A and they do not think like we do. To respond to something they said, or feel bad about it or try to rationalyze it is moot. he may have just been stating a fact for that moment. Plus it is no fun to work at changing such a strong urge. I hope he gets into a program!

For you, what are YOU doing for fun? hugz,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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He remembered to contact you...not to upset you or pull you off of your program...that's your choice.  I had to learn "Don't React" as a slogan which I practice alot and also not to try to second guess what was being said or going on around me.  I made it none of my business and still do.  Sobriety is not fun...roger that...it is hard and constant daily work.  The chances of it without the literature and the meetings and a good sponsor is about nil just like it is for us in Al-Anon.  We cannot and ought not try to do this on our own.  (((hugs))) smile



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PP


~*Service Worker*~

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You seem to have a strong program in place Rose, that is so great.  I am glad you heard from your son...prayers for your family.



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Paula
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi Rose, Im glad you got your wish and that hes okay. He may not be thinking the right way but at least hes sober for now and getting a bit of experience of living in the real world. Keep on keeping on, love your strength.x



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tiredtonite


Veteran Member

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Posts: 25
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Glad you got news.  You sound very committed to continuing to work your program.  You're right .... lots of options out there for him for sober living including renting a spare bedroom in an AA program person's home. People often post on bulletin boards in clubs that they are looking for another sober program person to share expenses. He knows what he has to do.  Wishing you both the best.  Thanks for sharing.  TT



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