Gaby: I've been in similar circumstances. I did the only sane thing I could do. I asked questions of the people in place to help my son. I trusted what they said to me. I turned my son, my fear and the future into God's hands and I trusted that whatever happened would be in God's hands, too. Then, I went to sleep. The only thing left for me to do.

One of my favorite meditations in C2C is in excerpt form here: "Whatever I need to know will come to me without any effort on my part." You know that your son walked off the ranch and then went back. It appears as if he went back because he had no options left to him. The instructions to you from the staff are to mean what you say, say what you mean and don't say it mean. You told him not to call you. You told him he asked for help and you took him to get the help he needed. If he calls you what will you say that you mean and how can you say it with firm yet courteous and respectful words?

You stated in the same paragraph that you have set boundaries to detach....let go and let God.

The answer is right there. In this case Gaby, it's right there in your own words just 2 sentences before you asked "What would you do?" You KNOW what to do. Stop the old behaviors and work on follow through. Work on calling your sponsor when tortured with "what ifs." Work on changing you. You still seem to have yourself in the role of savior to your son. I know you got him to rehab and found him in the bathroom OD'ed. It's possible you saved his life. BUT, there is a whole different set of outcomes that could also be positive if you did not get involved. You just don't know. Work on you and let go.

You told him to not call you...so what? You would rush to save him after clearly stating you wouldn't? That would send a message loud and clear "Keep messing up. I will be there no matter what and I will always save you and I don't mean what I say." So Gaby...I would do nothing except pray. And that basically seems to be what you are learning to do. Keep working.