The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care of her addictions. I called her on it immediately, which she denied, but she stayed home and went to bed @ 6:30pm. I figured she couldn't stand being awake withough her "fix." Good news-I didn't get angry or upset or anything. I said what I needed to say and I was FINE! This morning she tried to feed me another lie and I calmly gave her my reality. Lyne
Way to go Lyne. I think the lies are one of the hardest things to deal with. They can look directly into our eyes and just lie. I too am trying to be calm. Hard, but we have to for us.
I don't really understand one person living with another having the right to question them. We all have the right to our own choices.
When we basically manipulate anothers decisions, we are trying to control them.Them complying does not mean we did a good thing.
ex: really? the roads are a mess! be careful, love you.
Really who are we to think our reality is the truth.
I honestly am glad you felt better for not allowing someones untruths to upset you. For me, I leave it alone, it't not my job to tellanother adult what or what not to do. All we do is alienate the other person. Everyone deserves to be loved as is without anyone questioning their decisions whether they are lieing or not.
I believe in using my skills to be able to love the A as is, stay the same and make life miserable on us both, or ending the friendship.
Just something to think about. love,debilyn
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."