The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I received a text from my son yesterday saying he will moving into a sober living house. He went out and found one in our area. Maybe structure and discipline is what he needs. I poured my heart out to friends that care about me. I have to be reminded that I can not control the decisions he makes. And I am very important and need to be there for my daughter. I just pray for peace for he and I.. God bless..
Your son is still trying and that's a good thing. Just like my son still tries...he hasn't given up. It's also good you are staying on your side of the street and giving him the respect to find his own way without his mom. He can do this if he wants it bad enough. Don't step in and make it OK for him to go back because he just might let you.
Prayer are with you and your son....
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thank you Cathy.. We love our children so much. I can not believe I'm back to square one with my son. I mean it all just seems like a nightmare. I refuse to speak to him because I don't want to hear what he sounds like, I refuse to see him because all that pain I see in him kills me. When we text that even scares me. I love him so much I sometimes wonder how other parents do it when they just kick there kids out and still love forward. Here I am so depressed.. I pray for you and your son too. I wish our children will just realize that they are loved and worth having a great life.
Hi, Gaby: Good to see that your son is going into a SLE. That must be a relief to you. If you'd agreed to continue to let him stay near you, would he have chosen to go there? Good work. Reframing what we do in relationship to our adult children is helpful to me. As I remember, your agreement with your son included a contract that he would remain drug free and work on his life? He broke the contract with you. You held him responsible for that choice and the consequences. To me, that is you treating your son like he is capable of honoring his contract and honoring his sobriety. Doesn't sound like "kicking him out" at all to me. Sounds like tough love and letting your son and his HP work things out. Good work. The disease lies to us and tells us that we're making a mistake when we say one thing and don't do another. You taught your son that you mean what you say. And he sought the help he still needs. That's good, too.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 30th of November 2013 09:11:29 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 30th of November 2013 09:13:10 PM