The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH is always on a slippery slope. He says that the slips are expected...(well, not by me). I have only been in Al-Anon for 6 weeks but I felt I was starting to find a nice calm path to navigate our tiny corner of crazy. I no longer yell and argue with him.......was not working at all. I stopped looking for the hidden booze because it drove me nuts. I can't overlook the slurring however and have started to just text him when I am away from home.....but the typos he sends are just as bad as the slurring. The times when he does really well gives me hope....but not long lived. The thing is that he is in Intensive out-patient therapy, AA meetings and we are going to marriage counseling. I believe I am doing what I can for now and learning to be patient (not a strong attribute for me) I don't want to rush into anything super life changing without really being able to say that I tried everything I could do. We are away for Thanksgiving and my family has no alcohol so what did I find packed in his bag? Booze. I didn't mean to look for it but I slipped!!!! Now the frustration has seeped back into my brain like a virus and I know I have to get back on track. I can't wait to get home and get to my meeting to stabilize. I know about this disease, it still baffles me.....thanks for reading.....the typing relaxes me!!!!
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
Another share... another step, rather than a milestone... another person coming forward with their ESH...
J. I too just love the peace of being able to sit down and wrote. I don't even have to look for a pen! To be honest I do a fair bit of it online... when I was a kid some of my education was a bit wonky. I wasn't really up there for it sometimes... but I love words... I love the idea of just sitting down and writing a letter.... It doesn't solve everything- but it gives just a little space in my head. Just enough to carry on...
...every share opens up a possibility- some glimmer of hope for the disease... and a glimmer of hope for ourselves...
You are human. I am glad you shared that is an important tool. Please forgive yourself, repeat the serenity prayer and you will find that are on your way back
Hi, Jilly: Sounds like you found something that confirmed your suspicions? I'm glad you knew to reach out for support. It's hard to ride the roller coaster of ups and downs with this disease, isn't it? He's an alcoholic doing what alcoholics do. There's nothing you can do about him and his choice to continue drinking in spite of all the help available to him. Powerlessness over the disease and our loved ones is difficult to accept but not impossible. Doing what you can to save yourself another ride on the merry-go-round of this disease comes with working the steps, going to meetings, contacting our sponsor and others in the fellowship, focusing on ourselves and what we can do to enjoy ourselves each day to the best of our ability whether or not our loved one continues drinking. I'm glad you reached out here. I know others will respond to you. I just wanted to share with you that I have been on that roller coaster many times beginning with my x husband and later with my son. I can detach myself much more quickly from the insanity of this disease than I could many years ago. Program work is a big help as you have learned and with practice things get better and better for us. Keep coming back.
For me I feel like I am doing everything I can to find serenity for myself. F2F meetings, online meetings, reading my books. I use to be the alcohol police but just cannot do it anymore. I have been to many years of counseling also. I am hopeful that things will work out with my husband, but if not at least I can look back and say I did everything that I could do. It is the hardest situation to be in and I think it really never goes away. I wish the best for you!
Thanks all. I searched the internet and found a meeting to attend and.....my husband had me drop him off at an AA meeting, so all is not well, but it is as well as can be for today!!! I am thankful for my Al-Anon buddies in person and on this site. I find myself humming as I type this and I am in a calm and serene place. Thanks God!! Jill
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
Slips are only expected from a person that doesn't really want to stop and work AA as intended. I went to AA and have not drank since my first meeting. "Slips" are optional. I hate when people say relapse is a part of recovery. It might benefit you to drop expectations of him, but if he expects himself to relapse and thinks it is normal, that is exactly what he will do and it's just a BS set up.
Another share... another step, rather than a milestone... another person coming forward with their ESH...