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level.
Last night was horrible...at dinner my AM got really drunk and angry moreso than usual and started cursing out my dad and his family, especially his mom. My dad got very very angry as well. He mentioned he didn't know how much more of this he could take...my heart breaks for him..I know he's hurting SO much from my AM's drinking. My AM eventually went to bed...I woke up this morning and my AM who's now sober this morning acts all happy and cheerful. I know I can't stop her from drinking but I'm so scared of what today will bring...I'd rather just leave my house for today and go visit two of my very close friends..one in DE and the other in VA (temporarily for work). I'm not one to run away from my problems but I'm getting so tired of dealing with this..especially around the holidays.
I can't go to F2F meetings because I'm very busy with school now..it ends in a few weeks. I'm taking Anatomy and Physiology 1. I'm doing pretty well in the class, it's hard but worth it. Work is going well, very busy with the holidays and such.
I've got to go and head to the gym..Thanks for listening.
I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with. I understand as I grew up with an alcoholic father and always dreaded the holidays, not knowing what to expect. To this day I hate Thanksgiving and Christmas. I say to myself - I will get through this. This too shall pass.
PG: Nothing wrong with leaving the house today and going to visit two very close friends? I used to think I had to stay in situations that were miserable for me. It never even occurred to me that I had choices until a therapist asked me one day why I chose to remain seated in a movie that was gut-wrenching to watch. We can always leave situations that are threatening to our physical, mental, emotional or spiritual well-being. There is nothing written in stone that says you have to stay at home during a storm. As a fellowship member recently reminded me, "HP wants us to be happy." What might be a happy place for you to be today, PG?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 28th of November 2013 10:16:05 AM
I'm sorry the holiday is off to a rocky start for you. Conference approved literature and online recovery support/meetings really made a difference for me when I was in college. I hope today is a better day for you than last night was. I like the way you've made a plan to take care of yourself by going out to the gym. I went to yoga last night to gear up for all the personalities I may be spending time with today
It use to be that when the alcoholics in my life got drunk on holidays, I got angrier and more resentful as they got drunker. I had this expectation that they would tone it down or "be good" at least for the holiday. That thinking left me sorely disappointed.
We have the power to make it a good day for ourselves no matter what anyone elses does or says. The Serenity Prayer has really come in handy for me at these times.
HP help me... I know you're not through with me yet!
Happy Thanksgiving! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with. I understand as I grew up with an alcoholic father and always dreaded the holidays, not knowing what to expect. To this day I hate Thanksgiving and Christmas. I say to myself - I will get through this. This too shall pass.
(((hugs)))
Oh Rose, me too....I hate the holidays....I just "get through" them......and it is reminders of the past misery that the drunken mother would cause and him bashing her.......I just hate the holiday season....yea, am not in the mix of that anymore, but the memories, and my loved ones with whom i am close and COULD haave a nice holiday with are too far away.....sometimes i think "oh whats the use???" everything i try to do to help me is sabotaged by something.........I TOTALLY relate to how you feel.......and yea, I will get through this.......this too shall pass..........seems of late, thats all i am doing.....riding out unwanted karma......"getting through" something......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
