Oh brother.  AH claims that it will be cheaper for him to buy a small house instead of renting.  Is he kidding me?  He says, even though this separation is going to be short lived, he still wants to invest in a home.  I'm not real keen on him using marital assets for a home purchase right now but instead of rocking the boat, I thought I'd play along.  He has no idea how real estate prices have gone up over the past 2 years here and he'll be surprised that he might not be able to find something he likes in his price range anyway.

I am planning on calling my lawyer soon, though, because I can't tell if he's playing me.  Is he trying to get me to back down out of the separation request by scaring me with buying a home or does he truly think this is a better deal?  Does he think that he'll get to keep this new home if we get divorced?  He still doesn't know that our state is community property and doesn't seem to know what that means.  I've thought of reminding him of all the expenses that new homes have: washer, dryer, fridge, HOA/condo fees, real estate taxes, realtor fees, closing costs, etc.  A rental won't have those costs.  The other thought that occurred to me is that he's trying to drag this all out.

He is looking into therapist's for us and is communicating with me about appointments, availability, etc but I keep wondering if this is his attempt to save things or hold me off on my decision?  At this point, I almost wish that I was the one who moved out.  But, I wanted to take the dog and he's bigger than most complexes will allow for and I would have to rent a house and houses to rent are pricey around here(usually over $1300 a month, which is what our mortgage is).  He still says he came to Jesus on the missions trip and that he's a new man.  I guess we'll see.

I think it is wise to proceed with intense information gathering from an attorney, maybe even separation/divorce support groups that meet in the area?  It is simpler not to second guess what his motives might be (he may not even be aware of his true motives), and wise to keep the possibility of manipulations in the forefront.  You are taking good actions, ILD...keep going.

Sounds to me like evidence that he is impulsive and still not thinking straight.  I mean, if one of us here were separating and looking for a place to live, we'd get advice, consult a lawyer, consider bank accounts and community property laws, maybe talk to a financial advisor, and plan accordingly.  But the grandiosity of alcoholics is more like, "Hey, I have an idea, I bet it's a great one!  I'm just going to do this big thing!  'Cause I am right in the decisions I make!"   By their fruit ye shall know them. 

Poor decision-making is part of the whole syndrome, as we all know from long experience.  Who knows what it will be after house-buying?  Glad you have a lawyer to advise you on the legalities.  And you're not buying into his plans.  That's some excellent taking care of yourself.